The holidays are a lot of work. Chances are you’ve cleaned the house and cleaned it again in preparation for your in-laws’ visit, and you’ve probably spent hours in the kitchen chopping, peeling, brining, mixing, and rolling. You could also probably use a glass of wine (which I can’t help much with) and a little light-heartedness (which I can do something about!) in the midst of all the stress. So I’m here to ask: what does your choice of rolling pin — the one that’s gotten plenty of use this holiday season — say about you?
French wooden rolling pin
If you use one of these bad boys, chances are you’re a teeny-weenie bit obsessive compulsive … about your pie crust. You don’t want to see “pin tracks” in your crust, and dragging your knuckles in pie dough frustrates you to no end. There are 20 whole inches of pristine rolling real estate in this pin, which means you can roll out the crust for that deep-dish, 10-inch pie pan, pick it up with the pin, and lay it down just where you want it with no tearing, lickety-split. More than likely you hate “uni-taskers” in the kitchen; why have three things that do one thing when you can have one thing that does three things?
This happens to be my weapon of choice. I’ve used it to crush graham crackers, wrapped it in plastic wrap to use as a meat tenderizer, I’m always ready for an impromptu wiffle ball game, and I could use it to break up a dog fight. Like me, you probably adore old-world, rustic charm and simplicity. It’s totally worth the little extra care it takes to maintain this tool.
Classic wooden rolling pin with handles
Ah yes, the Classic Wooden Rolling Pin! if this is your favorite pin, chances are you are a nostalgic person. Your granny and your mom more than likely used one just like this, so that’s why you have one, too. Traditions are important to you, and so is your family. You probably bake a lot of sugar cookies and buttermilk biscuits. Its handles are probably well-worn, and it makes you happy when you see it in the drawer or on your counter.
Marble rolling pin
Photo credit: Lauren & Dan Hurd
To sum it up: you’re a lazy baker. You don’t see the point of having a tool that you have to do work to use. To you, the whole point of having a tool is so your work is lessened considerably, if not completely. Enter the Marble Rolling Pin — all you have to do is push it around and its immense weight takes care of the rest. An added bonus is that, since you are a mostly no-nonsense person while baking, wielding such a mighty pin lets everyone around you know that you will take no sass. If you tell your kids not to stand on the chair, they get down off the chair and 10 feet away. Simple as that. You have probably logged some serious hours rolling out chilled gingerbread dough, and you would be inconsolable if anything ever happened to it.
Plastic rolling pin
Photo credit: Dawn & Brian Grant
You are one, no-muss-no-fuss kind of person. Messes bum you out, so you love that you can throw this puppy in the top rack of the dishwasher and be done with it. It cost you five bucks at bargain mart; you’ll just run out and get another one if something happens to it. Things don’t matter much to you, but people and relationships do, and you’d rather family take up your time than cleaning. You probably use it for rolling out tubes of cookie dough around the holidays … you may or may not claim that they are made from scratch.
I hope this made you chuckle, and if I’m totally off-base, that’s OK, too. I didn’t use any kind of research to back up my statements.
Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving from our family!
Rachel is a gardener, beekeeper, wife & mother of three wild and crazy boys, and lover of all things homesteading. Visit greenpromisegrows.com to see more!
