Fear to Freedom
I learned another lesson during my run today. The illusion of the noose of familiarity is often my downfall. What’s that mean? I was always afraid of being too predictable. I also thought predictability was synonymous with boredom. My youth was filled with the illusion that insecurity and “drama” meant fun. Even if it wasn’t fun, it’s all I knew growing up in the hood and I thought that’s what life was about.
I was terrified of being known — I was worried people wouldn’t like me once they got to know me. I finally realized that only guilty people run away. The criminals are the only ones that need to run, not the innocent prisoners who’ve finally been emancipated.
Running’s my newest addiction in light of the clarity and focus it gives me. Running today, friendly faces flashed before my mind’s eye. People always say “I see you running.” Today’s 12-minute running session brought about a metamorphosis in me. I’m Liberty — The Mustang Fighter Plane I’ve been claiming to be.
Being predictable — in certain areas — is liberating. It has a certain sense of security; a “home” like feeling. The other great thing is that when you have a routine, you become really good at the things you repeatedly do.
Ironically, it was the illusion of the noose of familiarity that strangled me. It was fear. I no longer allow it to control me. It overpowered me like an addiction. Like the cigarettes, alcohol, drugs and food, I allowed it to paralyze me.
The people that God places in your path to help you fear the same things you fear. When they realize you’re going to stick around and they see you often, they take advantage of the opportunity to bless you in some way. This could mean financially, but for me, it mainly means that I feel I’m “home” wherever I go.
Photo by Fotolia/Melpomene
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