Most
small towns have a social club. Here in our neck of the woods it’s the Ladies of
Bloomfield. Which obviously excludes men and
wildlife.
I
propose a more inclusive rural town club. I’m calling it The Super Raccoon
Club.
Unlike
the Ladies, we won’t conduct high tea indoors on scented tablecloths with
teacups you can only slip your pinkie into.
Nope,
The Super Raccoon Club will meet – always – outdoors, by the pond. So we can
WASH our food in nature’s own running waters (um – more honestly, in the Donovan
Fish Pond…).
The
Ladies recently held a Mad Hatter Tea. Attendees sported their finest
high-fashion hats.
Much in
the manner of Ralph Cramden, The Super Raccoon Club will defy fashion with – of
course – raccoon hats sporting long, twirlable
tails.
The
Ladies’ teas offer small sandwiches without crusts, finger-sized desserts, and
fragile china pots of tea.
OUR
teas will consist of: small fishes (whole), troughs of chili, and still waters …
which shall run deep.
The
Ladies’ underlying motto seems to run along the lines of being of
service.
OUR
motto will be “serve yourself”. As such, OUR buffets will be self-serve,
all-you-can eat affairs.
The
Ladies strive to clean up da town.
WE will strive to get down ‘n dirty in the garbage for those gems SOME people wantonly
toss out. Since United Can Carriers comes at the crack ‘o dawn, don’t get
excited if you hear a little can rustling at 5AM.
It’s
just The Super Raccoon Club, doing what we do best.
