Don’t Steal a Pig When You’re Drunk

Reader Contribution by Mary Carton
Published on March 31, 2015
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The old Melrose Schoolhouse No. 1 site is across the road from where I live. In the early 1900s, the school was replaced with Melrose School No. 2 below Colbert Heights. It burned one Christmas Day; all that is left are two sets of steps in the woods. Melrose No. 1 was turned into a house for sharecroppers by the owner of the property on which it sat. Years ago it fell into a sink hole. Now a clump of trees mark the spot in the field where it used to stand.

One day one of the renters and his brother were drinking moonshine very heavily. After a long period of sitting on the porch drinking, both weren’t feeling much pain. They spied a stray pig in the yard and after some effort caught it. Since the renter had his own pig and his brother didn’t, they decided to have a hog killing. 

A few days later when the first brother regained sobriety he got to looking for his pig and couldn’t find it anywhere. At some point he realized that the stray pig wasn’t a stray after all, but his pig. He went over to his brother’s house demanding his hog back without any luck. Thus the start of a family feud.

The moral of the story is that if you steal a pig, make sure it’s not your own.

While I’m on the subject, another neighbor down the road a little ways decided to burn off his yard as a lot of the other folks used to do around here. You don’t see it done that much anymore. The disadvantages far outweigh the advantages in the studies I’ve seen. 

A friend came over to help the neighbor, and they had several rounds of moonshine before starting the job. They got to feeling very good and decided to take care of the yard. Things got out of hand and they ended up catching the house on fire. They started arguing and then resorted to fisticuffs while the house went up in flames. 

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