It’s that time of year … the brief time in early summer, when the weather is just right …
You guessed it … the Cat Plants are in bloom!
I’ve waited patiently all year for my Cat Plants to finally come in, and they’re popping up in all sorts of beautiful colors, shapes and sizes! You see, the amazing thing about Cat Plants is that one plant never looks quite the same as the next. This is due, in part, to the diverse genetics found in Cat Plant lineages, and also because Cat Plants are notorious for stealing food from other Cat Plants. You can easily spot the dominant Cat Plant in the flower bed because it’s nearly always twice as fat as the others.
Another unique trait of Cat Plants is that they move from flower bed to flower bed at will! It is not uncommon to find your Cat Plant on one side of the house in the morning, and later that day to find that it has relocated. Generally this phenomenon occurs with the movement of the sun throughout the day.
Here are two of my favorite Cat Plants, Rowan and Tom.
Cat Plants are even self-planting! Some may call these beautiful plants weeds, since they often crop up unwanted, and if you’re not careful, they will multiply quickly, but no worries. Cat Plants can easily fill any psychological hole in your life. Family and friends may avoid visiting if you have too many, but who needs family and friends when you have 30 Cat Plants? They are your family now.
Feeding of Cat Plants is essential for them to stay in bloom and return the following summer. Be sure to leave out the highest quality Cat Plant food, generally found at your local supermarket or feed store. You may get odd looks when asking store employees for Cat Plant food, but no worries. They just don’t appreciate them like we do.
Be aware that some Cat Plants feel the need to soil their flower beds. Simply relocate the Cat Plant to another flower bed, sweep the mulch back into the bed, and carry on with your day. Offering a specific Cat Plant soiling pan in the area may remedy the situation, but I’ve found that Cat Plants prefer defecating in a natural setting.
Cat Plants come with many benefits. A proper Cat Plant will repel mice, rats and birds from your property. Keep in mind that not all Cat Plants have this special power and may instead just shed everywhere and poop in your flower pots.
Want to begin your own Cat Plant garden, but don’t know where to start? Put the word out that you are seeking Cat Plants, and you’ll soon be fielding phone calls from desperate Cat Plant breeders with Kitten Plants overtaking their gardens. These plants are often free, but you may have to train them to stay in the flower beds, as they are far more active. They may get confused and attempt to plant themselves in inappropriate places, like under your truck, on your laptop, or in your clean laundry. In time, as the Kitten Plant matures into a Cat Plant, it will slow down and figure out the correct place to set roots. Remember, Cat Plants can live into their late teens with proper care.
Best of luck with your Cat Plants! I’m sure enjoying mine!
My oldest Cat Plant, Tom, 16 years old.