By Mary Carton
I spend a lot of my time ‘looking fer’ (for) things.
Every time I lose something, especially my glasses, I think of the I Love Lucy show where Lucy and Ethel are discussing what one thing their husbands lose every morning. While Ethel tells Lucy that Fred loses his glasses all the time, only he has them on the top of his head. When she tells him where they are, he looks at them and says, well if it was a snake, it’d bit me. Fred walks in the kitchen with his glasses on top of his head asking if Ethel has seen his glasses. When she tells him they are on his head, he looks at them and says, well if it was a snake, it’d bit me. Lucy and Ethel break out laughing.
Right now, I’m looking fer my shovel. It shouldn’t be hard to find as it has a bright red Dig Rig foot attachment on top. The last time I saw it was when I disposed of the four field rats the Hooligans left on each side of the house like a warning to other rats who dare to trespass. I had it out moving some fifteen year old azaleas from the back of the house to along the creek just before the last big rain we had. I checked my transport area on the tiller and where I buried the rats on the other side of the underground fence, and where it’s supposed to be hanging in the barn, so far no luck finding it.
While on the subject of the Hooligans, I’ve been looking fer two of their underground fence controller collars somewhere in my three and half acres for several months. When the Hooligans are rough housing, they’ll unsnap the collar and it eventually falls off somewhere. The things aren’t cheap, so each time Patches or Blackie loses theirs, I take the one off Levi and put it on them. He has no desire to wander away from home except if it’s thundering and he tries to follow me.
I’m constantly looking fer one of my two favorite garden trowels. I have a matched set and one is always missing, even though I’ve painted the handles orange.
I transplanted six large-fifteen year-old azaleas from the back of the house using the loader on the John Deere to dig them out. The ground was soggy from several inches of rain over a few weeks. The day after digging, we received another inch and water was standing in the tire ruts I made trying to extract two at the same time, They were very close together and I couldn’t dig one without the other or taking out a brick paver walkway. I was walking around taking pictures for my gardening blog when I slid down into the ruts with my Canon 7D camera first into the mud. I took off the thingamajig that attaches the camera to the top of a tripod, and laid it down somewhere. I was so concerned with all of the mud covering my camera that now looked like a piglet; I forgot where I laid it. A photographer friend says it’s called a tripod mounting shoe, not a thingamajig. I stand corrected, but I’ll forgot that terminology and will call it a thingamajig again.
I’m constantly looking for the wing nuts and washer to go on the doors over the belts on my finishing mower. Oh I stand corrected again, they are called shields. I’ll take them off to grease the belt bearings and forget to put them back on. I now have several sets planted somewhere on my three acres.
Keys are the thing that I lose with the most frequency while working out in the yard. I thought I had solved the problem by buying one of the closed loop spring clips. Apparently it didn’t close when I snapped it over my belt loop and it fell off somewhere.
Cell phone? I’m constantly looking for it. It fell out of the case while I was mowing my three acres with my JD. Mom stood out in her back yard phoning it while I walked the whole three acres. I found it at the end of my walk; thank goodness not a mark on it. I had just got a new one after mowing it after getting off and back on the mower a couple of times. A chopped up cell phone goes a long way and has a lot of parts to pick up.
The rechargeable batteries are constantly disappearing. Now that I have the charger plugged in the outlet in my truck, they don’t go far. Somewhere in my house the extra one for my first camera is still missing. If I plan to use it, I have to take the one out of the camera and charge it up.
Last but not least, I’m looking fer my memory. The hot water line coming from the hot water heater to the rest of the house developed an aneurysm in the wall between the foyer and laundry room. When I discovered it, I turned the heater off at the breaker box, then remembered it was on a timer and already off. After my cousin Patrick did a temporary repair. Since this is the second leak in that one section, I decided to replace the pipe, sheetrock on both sides and the sixteen year old water heater. As I was taking a shower that night, I kept waiting for the water to get warmer and it didn’t. I’d forgotten to flip the breaker back on after the repair. After a 95 degree day, the water was lukewarm. The next morning while waiting for the water to warm up to wash my face, it hit me, I still hadn’t flipped the breaker. After resetting the timer and flipping the breaker, I now have hot water.
I went into the grocery to get milk. Twenty dollars later and I’m unloading the groceries, and looked for milk …
The next day I go back to the grocery store; I do not get a buggy, I go straight to the milk, get one and check out without looking at anything else.
My tomatoes growing in large 20 gallon tree containers looked a little on the pale side while I was watering. I put the hose down, walked to the garage and found an organic fertilizer with bacteria and other good stuff. On the way back to the tomatoes, my potted plants by the garage door could use something, so I sprinkled them. Then the hanging baskets could use some, so they got a sprinkle. My squash in the flower beds needed a boost, so they were sprinkled. As I came around the corner of the house, the hooligans were licking up what I had sprinkled in the pots. After yelling at them, I put the fertilizer up and went back to watering my tomatoes. Tomatoes! So back to the garage to get the plant food and sprinkle them and watered all before the hooligans could strike again.
You are going to a meeting that requires a turn off of your normal route to town and you know it. You get to the stop light and you are in the lane to go straight to town instead of in the turn lane where you need to be.
Now, where did those glasses go?
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