With the start of the Olympics, our farm animals thought it would be fun to have a little celebration. To commemorate this event, they decided to participate in their own sports. The wild birds did full coverage on this important occasion. Of course, if I translated everything that they said, it would take me a while, so here are just some snippets of their conversations:
“Why hello to all who are out there today! I am sure that you are all in anticipation for these lo-o-ong awaited games to start! Am I right or am I right? What do you think Jeremy?”
“Oh, most definitely. This is going to be the biggest event yet! Did you know that we have 8 teams competing this year?”
“How could I forget? With the Bantam, Standard, Juvenile, Rooster, Guinea, Duck, Goat, and Dog teams this will be insane!”
“Jeremy, I think we need to tell our listeners a bit about all of these teams, that way they can fully appreciate how momentous this occasion is.
Let’s start off with the Roosters. This team has been practicing in a very interesting way. For months now, they have been strutting around so that their posture is improved for handball. It is going to be really a tough game if these guys make to the finals, these are they ones to beat.
Next, we are looking at the Bantam team. Uffie is the captain of this one, and from our inside reports, she has really turned this awful group upside right. But from our source, it seems that they team doesn’t always feel the need to win, so we might find that these fellows stink if they can’t hold it together during on the archery field. Jeremy can you take over for a bit?”
“Sure thing. I am looking forward to see how the Guineas perform, from what I hear they all have some serious natural talent in Judo. Their main competitor will be the dogs though, I think in will be a dangerous thing if they are pitted against each other in the final round.
The Standard Chicken team is one of the largest that we have here with over 25 birds. This is incredible that they have so many on their team. We do know that they have really improved their pole-vaulting skills, so we will see how they do.”
“Thanks Jeremy. For the first time ever we have some youngsters participating in the athletic field. Any chicken under 12 weeks we are allowing to participate in the Triathalon! This is great, because it is an individual sport so we shall see how they do. Jeremy, can you tell us something about the two Juveniles who are the ones to beat?”
“No problem. As you listeners might know, there are two young ones that have really stood out in their training. Their names are Deja and Vu. These two are both a breed called the Sultans, and it really does seem like they were descended from royalty.
If you don’t mind, I want to talk about the ducks now. These birds are very proficient in all the aquatics, but from what I hear there maybe a surprise awaiting for them when they compete. We have had some of our sea-gull friends fly down here, so that it will be challenging for these swimming stars.”
“Jeremy, the only groups left are the Goats and Dogs. Both of these teams are rather small, the goats only have 5 members, and the dogs have 4. As always, the goats pride themselves at being the very best at gymnastics, so we expect them to take almost all of those medals. The Dogs are a loose cannon though. Last year they had some self control issues when it came to being around birds, so if they can stay in their pen, I think it really could be any body’s game.”
“I agree fully. Checking out for the time being, we will be back though, to give you complete coverage on all the medals won and the opening ceremony.”
***
“Jeremy is back! I am here to give you full coverage on the OOOOPPENING Ceremony! This is going to be spectacular folks. I have a great spot in the old tree, so I can see everything that is going to happen.
Oh, my gosh. I can’t believe it! The Possum band is doing the beginning song! This is great! I am a BIG Fan of the Possums! They are renowned for being really good at performing old blues songs.
What have we here? It looks like a crazed fan is jumping over the guardrail and chasing the band. The security are chasing after the culprit. What does this mean?
It seems as though they are having to interrogate the disturber of the peace… The announcer is coming on… I am sorry folks, but the opening show is getting cancelled, because we don’t have enough security to stop wildly crazy fans. This is a big bummer, because I really wanted to see the racoons do a really influential and inspiring speech about how there are people everyday who are not as tasty as chickens.”
***
“It looks like the Pole-vaulting competition has begun!”
“Yes Jeremy, it has. This is really exciting!”
“It looks like the Standard team is doing really well. Much better than last year.”
“Holy Mackerel! Frankenstina just broke the record! How did she do it? I thought she was half blind? Isn’t that right Jeremy?”
“Yeah, she is half blind, that is even how she got her name. One eye is different colored from the other! Her fans call her little Frankie.”
“This is so impressive! I think she is going to go places Jeremy. To be a witness at something so spectacular is incredible, we are very privileged.”
“Did you know that the humans just put out free food? We should go get some before all these hungry athletes get to it.”
“Righto Jeremy. I like the way you think.”
***
“It looks like the competitors for the Triathlon are lining up! Do you see Deja and Vu down there, Jeremy?”
“Yes indeed. They look pumped up for this to begin. I am not sure how they can be this confident with the three challenges they have to complete.”
“I don’t know if some of these young ‘uns will survive the racing, the flying, and the perching. This is going to be very nerve wrenching if any of these precious dears get heat exhaustion with it being so hot here.”
“I know what you mean. The only ones who don’t have to worry about the heat are the ducks with their aquatic sports.”
***
“Hey Jeremy, we have a very special guest.”
“Yes we do. He is one of the Seagulls who flew up here to give the Duck team a real competition.”
“Quite right. His name is Hodge Podge, and he has come to speak with us about how it was competing against the Ducks. Listen up Jeremy.”
“Hello, everyone. My name is Hodge Podge, as you just said. I flew down here with my team so that your Duck friends could have somebody to swim against.”
“And where are you from Hodge Podge?”
“I came a long way to make it here. All the way from the East Coast.”
“That is a far distance, and what made you accept our invitation to come over?”
“My crew has been begging me to take them to the desert, because it rains a lot where we are from, but when I received this invitation to compete, I explained to them that the chance of Kansas getting rain at this point is just as likely as it raining in the Sahara. Besides, it just about as hot.”
“So are you all enjoying the weather?”
“Very much. A couple of our fellows even have some sunburn with as much as they have been outside.”
“Well thank you very much Hodge Podge for giving us this exclusive interview. It has been wonderful talking with you, and I hope you have a safe flight home.”
***
“And Nutella takes gold, with Cadbury at silver, and Maybelle at bronze. This wasn’t much of a surprise was it, Jeremy?”
“Not really, the goats almost always beat everyone in gymnastics, so there really isn’t anything special about this, except that Cadbury got silver.”
“It is rather astonishing that he did so well. He is the newest addition to the team, right Jeremy?”
“Exactly the point I was going to make. He is also the youngest member of the team, which I find an important thing to point out.”
“Something else, Jeremy, that I think must have been hard for him in his training, is to not let his fur get snagged on any of the equipment. He is a very special breed of goat, as you know.”
“Yes, of course. The pygora is a rather new combination between a pygmy and an angora goat, producing a breed of goat very similar in appearance to a sheep.”
“Jeremy, you really have done your research about pygoras. I am impressed.”
***
“As you are familiar, the wrestling team often has difficulty with keeping the rules.”
“Quite right, Jeremy. Last year there was no winner because all the contestants got disqualified.”
“Why was that again? I don’t have all the reasons memorized.”
“As you know last year there were only three members to the Dog wrestling team, Ceylon, Crumpet and Cappuccino. Ceylon got eliminated because she kept escaping to go through the compost pile. Crumpet sort of refused to move, and we learned that he exceeded the age limits for participation. Cappuccino was too hyper, and wouldn’t stop checking his PuppyBook, DogSpace, BarkedIn, Digterest and Yapper accounts.”
“I remember that that proved a bit of a problem.”
“Yes it did Jeremy, yes it did.”
***
“So Jeremy, that was the last event.”
“I am sad.”
“Why are you sad Jeremy?”
“Because.”
“Okay Jeremy, you be sad. I will do the end by myself.”
“Go ahead.”
***
And that is how our farm celebrated the Olympics. Jeremy still hangs around with his buddy, as well as many other birds who do nothing but eat our chicken’s food and drink their water. I suppose they make some nice music in the morning. One day I might talk to their choir master and see if he can make them more harmonized. Have fun celebrating the Olympics at your farm!
