Ah, spring time at Addie Acres! The birds are chirping, the sun shines longer, the snow is melting, the temps are rising and the frozen ground makes deep, muddy, poopy puddles. I have to wear thigh-high, water-proof boots and take along my imaginary rubber boat to get out to the barn. I paddle my way to the metal building, as I push waterlogged animals out of my way. Once I get inside, I run to the back pen before every soaked animal is able to shake off the brown water and drench me in smelly yuck!
After everyone has been fed, I typically sneak out the back barn door, past the llamas who refuse to go anywhere near dirty water, and quietly float my way back to the house without being seen by the natives. If they spot me, they gallop full speed through the slop and try to stop me, demanding I take them with me to higher ground. If they get to the gate before me, I have to turn around, paddle to the far gate before they figure out what I’m doing!
Once in a while, they seem to split up into groups and guard every exit. That’s when I have to lecture them about how animals live in barns and frolic in pastures, even when flooded, while humans live in houses and eat yummy food inside. They have their space and I have mine, now get out of my way! Yup, you guessed it. Doesn’t work! I push, threaten, plead, bribe, trick and yell my way to get past them. Sometimes I make it, sometimes I don’t.
When they ‘win’ the battle, they get through the gate and head for the house. That’s when I find myself running with a pack of furry farm animals to get to the back door first. My neighbors must love us! I can see them sitting on their porches watching the circus performance for free. What a show with a crazy farm lady yelling at a donkey, horse, two goats and an alpaca as she runs swinging her arms in the air, as all the while, smack in the middle of the galloping herd is a giant pit bull nipping at the heels of both goats making them BAAAAAAAAA! Yep, can’t wait to go out again today!
