We should name our big fat horse Laci … Houdini! I went out to the barn about an hour ago to do my ‘feed the animals without being trampled’ dance. I gave Sparky her pill, then turned to give Laci her medicine and noticed she wasn’t in the barn doing her usual pigging out jockeying for hay. Hmmm, was she really wanting to eat the still brown grass? No! Somehow, she had forced her rotund horsey body through a newly created gap in the fence and stood munching emerging green grass next to our 6-foot-tall concrete hand. Unfortunately, Lacy’s hooves tend to founder in the fresh spring grass and the road only a few feet beyond the hand threatened a more fatal encounter with passing cars.
With passersby driving slowly to take in the spectacle of a funny plump horse next to an oversized hand, I reflexively grabbed her leash and calmly walked out the gate pretending I wasn’t in the least interested in catching her. As I approached our naughty girl, I gave her the original pill mixed with goat grain and slipped the lead around her fury mane. As I let out a sigh of relief, Laci gave a loud “whiiinnnniiiiee” as she realized the crafty human had gained control again. Woo-hoo … crisis averted and another win for the mama, which, with animals who tend to be smarter than the average bear, is not always the case.
And now, as Paul Harvey would say, the rest of the story. With Laci back in the barn penned up with the oft co-conspirator Sparky, I ventured to figure out the secret of the escape without the assistance of Superfarmer. I walked the fence line until I found where she had worked it until it came loose. I was shocked! This overweight so-called “mini” horse not only worked a spot loose, but it required her getting down on her belly and wriggling through the bottom of the fence like soldiers under barbed wire during live fire drills in basic training. My remedy? A concrete block and binder twine interlacing the fence with it to prevent the next attempted foray. Proudies to me, I did this on my own. Of course, when Superfarmer Chad arrives from his sure-to-be-long-day at work, he will be sent out alone in the dark to inspect ALL of the fence and to fix any remaining horsey-shaped imprints still misshaping the fence.
