In Which the Cow Took Over My Newsletter

This post is going to deviate from the norm just a little bit. You see, I send out a newsletter to people who subscribe to my Green Eggs & Goats blog. I have been really tired today though, so my Jersey cow, Beulah decided to do the newsletter for me today to give me a little break. Chaos ensued. The people on our Facebook page seem to think my cow is rather funny, so I thought I would share it with my readers here at GRIT too!

Welcome to the Mooooooooosletter!

Brought to you today by Beulah Belle the Jersey Cow

Farmer Heather is feeling a little tired today after a few late nights of barnyard drama, so I told her, “Don’t you worry, you just moooooooooooove on over and let Beulah handle the newsletter this week.” So she’s resting with a cup of coffee and trying to get some Christmas presents wrapped right now. She better be wrapping some cow treats, that’s all I’ve got to say about it!

What’s the barnyard drama I was talking about? Well, first of all, a mean ‘ol possum came up to our barn and snatched one of our guinea friends the other night, so the farmers got dressed up in warm clothes and came to the pasture with guns and flashlights, trying to keep us all safe (not that a ‘possum would mess with me, I’d just step on it). Anyway, they hunted and hunted, and finally saw the possum, but couldn’t get a good shot, so they have a trap set near the barn, hoping to catch it.  

Then last night, Farmer Heather milked me real good while Farmer Eric hunted for that dang possum again. I went back to the pasture, but I discovered that my daughter Bellatrix was missing, so I mooooooed really loud and she moooooooed back, but she was stuck in the neighbor’s pasture. She had gone to visit her dead-beat daddy bull again, and couldn’t figure out how to get home. So the farmers went and roped her, but then they remembered that they weren’t in the rodeo and that calves are stronger than they look, so it took some work to get her back to me.  

Getting her back was really nice, but I’ve told Farmer Heather over and over not to keep those eggs in her pocket, but she does it anyway, and I’ve reminded her that Bellatrix is a baby and that babies pee on people when they are scared, so, you see, the wet pants and the smashed egg really aren’t my fault at all.  

That’s about it around here except that Farmer Heather came home with new ducks the other day. I don’t know why she likes ducks so much. They don’t even give milk! Something about laying huge eggs and being funny. I know, it doesn’t make sense to me either…

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Published on Dec 17, 2013

Grit Magazine

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