A Flock of Chickens: RX for the Empty Nest Syndrome

Reader Contribution by Marie James
Published on February 29, 2012
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When my kids were young, I was one of those moms that just loved doing all sorts of domestic and creative things. I have been called “June Cleaver,” though I am not fond of wearing high heels or pearls or even dresses for that matter. (In one episode, the dedicated June wore pearls even with her bathrobe! I saw it on a rerun!)

I always made a point of taking time for friends, church, and community. I had other pursuits, hobbies, and interests. But there’s no doubt that my family was my first focus. Caring for my kids and participating in their lives was a major part of my life.

When my oldest kids started leaving home, I knew I was in for a tumble down the empty nest syndrome spiral. I could see the writing on the wall: one day all of my children would be out on their own. So I took the bull by the horns and started preparing for that day far in the future when I really would be an empty nester.

I thought about things I’d like to do when all the kids were grown. I knew I’d relish more time to write and follow other creative pursuits. I could get a job in publishing. I could go back to school and finish my degree. And I expected to someday have grandkids to coddle, spoil, and enjoy.

My hubby, Jim, and I could do more traveling, take longer vacations, and make more weekend getaways. We’d continue to visit art galleries and enjoy community theater and music. I even told Jim I would learn to golf, but was secretly glad when he said he prefers to golf with “the guys.”

Jim and I sat down and wrote individual and combined 5-year and 10-year goals–what we’d like to do by then and where we’d like to see ourselves. I guess we were writing bucket lists before we knew what a bucket list was. As the years went by, we checked some things off, crossed out some that no longer seemed interesting, and repeatedly highlighted some that just hadn’t happened yet.

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