Left Holding a Live Skunk by the Tail

I’m doing something a little different with this post. This is a story about a young lad and the courtship of a country wife. Long long ago in a far away land called St. Louis a young man arrived on a bus to make his fortune and fame in the big city. Under the disguise of a young man with hair, he signed up for auto mechanic school with high hopes to learn how to make cars sound loud and go fast. It was the 60s and muscle cars with names like Road Runner, GTO Goat, Mustang Shelby GT, and Camero Super Sport ruled the road. Early into the schooling, young Dave met a behemoth of a man that stood 6’6″ and tipped the scales at over 400 pounds. Dennis was the gentlest giant anyone could ever meet. Young Dave acquired a job during the day and went to school in the evening. When the weekend rolled around it got just a little boring so he jumped at the invitation to spend the weekend with Dennis and his family. Upon arriving at Dennis’ house he was introduced to his little brother who stood 6’8″ and weighed in at 250. Dave was among the giants of the land. There was great joy and merriment, and young Dave came back many weekends over the next year.

One day Dennis brought Dave over to a neighbor’s house and introduced him to his friends Herman, the jokester, Ewald, the adventurer, and sister Margie, the beautiful one. Herman and Ewald became friends with young Dave and introduced him to many exciting Missouri backwoods adventurous things. Among those things were raccoon and possum hunting, frog gigging, and jug fishing – all of which were probably not entirely legal but a lot of fun. Many weekend nights were spent sitting in the woods around a fire telling stories of past hunts waiting for Rex and Fuzz, the best Missouri mutt hunting dogs alive, to tree a critter. When a critter was treed the yelping of Rex and Fuzz guided them to the tree. It was all great fun as friendships were formed with Dennis, Ewald, and Herman, and a deeper relationship bloomed with Margie the beautiful one.

One night the boys were out driving down a backwoods road shining an old airplane landing light up into the trees looking for glowing critter eyes. It is really amazing how many eyes track a car load of wild and crazy guys down a dark Missouri back woods road. The next thing that happened was a most incredible thing that impressed young Dave and produced a life time memory. Ewald, who was sitting in the front seat, got very excited and made Dennis stop the Chevy full-sized station wagon. Ewald had seen a skunk waddling down the middle of the road in the head lights. Quick as a wink he was out of the car running as fast as he could right up behind the skunk. Young Dave thought he would be sprayed for sure. All in the car was surprised when Ewald grabbed the skunk by the tail and lifted it high up off the ground. Ewald claimed that a skunk can’t spray if their back feet are off the ground. It must be true because he didn’t get sprayed. He then convinced young Dave to come hold the squirming skunk while he went to get a gun. Skunk pelts were bringing a premium price so he only wanted to shoot it in the head and so as not to damage the pelt. So here was young Dave in the middle of the road holding a live skunk by the tail with all the others in the car. Dave knowing that Herman the jokester was in the car had one thought pop into his head. They were going to drive off and leave him in the dark, on a backwoods road, holding a live skunk by the tail. Fortunately, they weren’t that cruel to their future brother-in-law, but he knew that most likely they had thoughts about it.

I know it doesn’t sound like a very romantic courtship but that came later after months of thoroughly being tested and getting the stamp of approval by the brothers Herman and Ewald. There are many more stories during the courtship of young Dave’s first wife, but they are for another cold snowy night when there’s nothing better to do than reminisce about days past.

Do you have any funny stories about your courtship with your spouse that you could share? Leave a comment and tell me about them.

  • Published on Dec 3, 2010
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