Garden Weeding: To Have and To Hoe

| 4/27/2010 9:27:42 PM

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GardenPanI write the same way almost every time. Whether it be for professional purposes or just personal blogging I do a little research, I make a little "thought bubble," and I let the juices flow. But tonight I am writing a little differently – a little more straight from the heart.

This morning started out with routine chores: cup of coffee, feed the chickens, turn the water on for the corn and/or grass (if need be), and wait for Pan to wake up. By 7:30am she hadn't woken up though and with the threat of rain for the day I decided to go ahead and start weeding the onion bed; a chore she had told me needed to be done really soon. Before I had even finished half of the bed Pan came outside in her gardening shoes, pajama pants, and typical bed head which somehow makes her even more attractive. Maybe its the morning light? Maybe its the natural glisten of her skin? Whatever the cause, I find her no more attractive than I do first thing in the morning.

Perhaps what is more attractive though is the spirit contained within her. Certainly other husbands wax poetic about their wives and write passive notes about them. But sometimes, like me, they need to just let it out; share, if you will. So ... where was I? Spirit. Right.

Perhaps what is more attractive than anything though is Pan's spirit, her heart, and her general character. Before she even really said anything to me she had bent down and started pulling weeds right alongside me. I pulled. She pulled. We chatted a bit ... nothing much, just chatting. But for thirty minutes we shared in each others lives. We asked each other how we slept. We talked about our day to come. We discussed possible breakfast options. We invested in each other.

Now I am no marriage expert, and I am not willing to say that we are the perfect couple. But since we got married we have realized that no matter how much money we have (or don't have), no matter what car we drive, what house we live in, what our bank account sits at, we have each other and the best investment we can make is in each other. Time spent weeding together is not time wasted. In fact, it isn't even about the weeds or the garden. It is about two people connecting with each other for a few minutes in a quiet place.

Life gets busy. Heck, our life is busy. I work fulltime, I write for three magazines, and six websites. I speak publicly at least twice a month, I blog, I garden, etc. Pan is a fulltime housewife in that she creates meals from nothing, she gardens, she keeps us on budget, she takes care of me (by far the largest, most demanding job), and she keep things generally rolling along. But we never get so busy that we forget to take time to be with each other, bed head and all.

Perhaps it is the weeds. Perhaps it is the early morning sun. Maybe its the sound of the birds. Or maybe it is just what God always intended life to be; simple and relational.

amy crawford
5/3/2010 8:30:01 AM

Love your is great therapy!

4/29/2010 9:15:08 AM

@The Farmer's Wife - Please accept my very deepest condolences. What you have recently experienced is something that can make even the most faithful question the greater meaning. Alas, you brought out a good point. It seems y'all never wasted a moment together and you will have that gilded onto your heart forever. Many are unable to say that. Blessings to you and thank you for your warm words.

the farmer's wife_1
4/29/2010 8:41:04 AM

Loved the article. Sounds like you and your wife are like us, some of the lucky few to have figured out their connection. My husband and I have been organic farmers for the last 10 years and most of what you wrote here could have been written by one of us about the other, especially the paragraph about the "no matters". We never made much money in all our years together, but never really cared. We always had each other and that was all that mattered. Love is all that really matters in the end. Sadly, my sweet Dave died last month and life just isn't the same without him. He was much too young and had too much left to give for this to have happened but then, questioning what the Universe hands us is more than a person should take on. I will always feel like I am the luckiest person in the world for having had someone like him in my life, even if it wasn't long enough. Happy life to you both!

4/28/2010 5:59:56 PM

@Mountain Woman - Thank you for reading them. Sometimes I think people are going to call me out for being a big softee. hahahaha. I am not sure if she reads them or not. Whatever the case, I am not big on saving things but I do tell her how much she means to me on a regular basis. I try not to let a day pass where she might wonder how special she is in my life.

mountain woman
4/28/2010 4:12:05 PM

Hi Andrew, I always love your posts where you talk about your love for your beautiful wife. Makes my heart glad to see people appreciating each other. You are so right. Money, material things just aren't important. It's the love we carry in our hearts and share every day with that special person. Thanks for such a beautiful post. P.S. - Hope your wife reads these. Maybe make her a scrapbook of them so she'll have them close by. Mountain Woman

4/28/2010 1:41:45 PM

@Dave - Man, I am going to carry you around with me everywhere soon. You really reinforce my self-esteem. You are so right though. There is no place where the indians are more important than the chiefs than on a homestead. Thank you for your kind words. Pan and I wouldn't trade our time together for anything. We splurged and installed soaker hoses this year as well as a digital timer. What a gift! They are great and do the job so well.

nebraska dave
4/28/2010 1:28:09 PM

Hey Drew, another good post. God did intend for us to be relational and dependent on each other. No one can really be a success by being a Lone Ranger. Sharing life with someone you love is the ultimate relationship. Believe me I had 23 wonderful years and would still be counting if fate had not stepped in with sickness and changed it. Inspiration, confidence, comfort, and encouragement all come from that most important relationship of marriage. You and Pan are on a path that I envy. Simple weed pulling can become enjoyable only because of being in each other’s company. I found that long after my wife passed I did things that I really didn’t enjoy all that much and when I reflected on why I did them, it became apparent it was because that’s what we did together. That’s what made it so special and not really what we did. You and Pan have already discovered the binding that turns a marriage into a strong marriage. Guard those times above all else and never let anyone or anything steal those precious times away from you. I wish You and Pan many years of wonderful marriage and look forward to more inspiring posts. And hey that's mighty fine looking garden. Are those soaker hoses used for watering?

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