Don't Settle


Country MoonYou know that little voice in the back of your head that nags you to do something. You ignore it, push it back, but it just stays there until you finally bring it up front and deal with it. OK, I’m finally dealing with my little voice that has accompanied me all week.

This is a little off the beaten path from what I usually write about, but it is one of my passions. I believe you only get one chance at life so you may as well go for all the gusto you can. That’s why it irritates me so when I see people settling for less, whether it be in their jobs, marriage or their dreams. I have always believed there is a happy medium between wanting too much and settling for too little.

When Derek Jeter, shortstop for the New York Yankees for the past 20 years, retired this year, his comment was, “All I ever wanted to do was to win.” Whether you are a Yankees fan or not, you have to appreciate his career. All through high school, his goal was to play in the major leagues; not just in the major leagues, but for the Yankees. Andot just for the Yankees, but as the shortstop for the Yankees. He knew what he wanted and never lost sight of the goal. So, he did win, not only in the ballpark, but in life.

Do you ever see a married couple that, sadly enough, would be better off not being a couple? They just seem like they are together because it is convenient, not because they really want to be. I am not a proponent of divorce, but if the magic is gone between two people, why do they “settle” for a mediocre life together instead of either trying to make it better or finding something better altogether?

I knew from the get-go that I had so many things I wanted to do with my life that I wanted a partner who wanted the same things. Everybody wants to do it right the first time, but I was adamant about not messing with the hassles of a divorce. When I was 29 years old, the oldest one in the family and on the verge of being labeled “an old maid,” I began to wonder if my goals were too stringent, but I never wavered. I could have “settled” for just someone to be with so I wouldn’t be alone, but I would have missed out on the best. Good thing I didn’t because, even though I had to wait longer than most, God provided me with my soul mate and it has been an awesome 27 years together.

When two people are in tune and really enjoy each other, the little annoyances don’t seem so important and are easier to overlook. Does it annoy me when my hubby leaves his clothes exactly where he takes them off? Yep. Will I always be annoyed when he does this? Yep. Do I stress over this until it becomes a big issue between us? Nope, there are just so many other, better things to focus on.

10/29/2014 8:41:52 AM

Lois, in today's society so many people are stuck in living even below settling. Their self worth is so low that they actually believe that they can't change things in their lives. I've been in those situations where it doesn't look like there's any possible way out. Through experience, I've managed to engage the blockades with determination and just keep striving forward. The key is to never give up even though the goal is seemingly unreachable. It appears to me your grand daughter Kimi has grown up in a "can do" family environment. Most people will not move forward if they don't know how it's possible to get where they want to go and as a result they indeed succeed in not getting there. Most times all it takes is to start moving and figure it out along the way. Many times in my life I didn't know how it was going to work out but I just kept plodding along and soon the sun was shining on my life again. ***** I'm with you for life time partners. I now realize that THE most important decision in life other than spiritual decisions is the choosing of a partner. Opposites may attract but similar life styles and goals in life are, in my humble opinion, better for long lasting marriages. ***** Have a great don't settle day.

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