I find myself going through the emotions of an anticipated change – the different stages of excitement, then worry and longing, while all the gaps are filled with questions. How will we make all the ends meet, where or what will our main source of income be, medical insurance for our five children … the list almost seems endless.
How far do we want to take our dream? Do we want to have a true Homesteading lifestyle where we live off the grid, or do we want to continue to operate a small farm with the security of a full-time job; a paycheck we can rely on every week, and medical insurance that covers every possible ailment we may ever encounter?
The choices span such large variables. Should we wait until our children are older, so they are not so vulnerable? Or will waiting rob them of the true experience and opportunity to learn, live and love life on a farm? Where do we want to lay down our roots? Do we stay in our home, town or even state? Should we continue to look for farms in Vermont, New Hampshire or Maine if we really have no intentions of leaving where we are now? Our lives have been rooted in this place were we stand, our children have all started their lives here, we have experienced so many firsts. This place is so full of our memories. Is this the place where our life is meant to be? I am sometimes afraid that there is too much to try and take with us if we leave, and I am not sure I am willing to leave any of it behind.
I know that it is not a home that makes the family but a family that makes the home. I am convinced that we could make a life anywhere with or without; even in a cardboard box we would make the best of things! The most important things we have are our children, health, happiness and each other. We can do without the rest, it's just the letting go part that is so difficult. So we will continue along on this rollercoaster of life and enjoy the ups, get through the downs and look to each new day to bring us closer to our true life.