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5 Signs You're a Farmer's Wife

Charlotte McMullenMarriage provides a unique opportunity to spend an enormous amount of time with someone you love. You get real insight into your spouse’s personality and discover what makes them tick. In turn, you also learn all of the things they do that makes you tic causing you to one day seek medication and therapy to cope. I’m joking. A sense of humor comes in handy when you’re married – especially to a farmer.

Here are my five signs you're a farmer's wife:

1. You plan major life events around the planting and harvesting calendar.

Have you always dreamed of a spring wedding? Is your baby due in the fall? What are you thinking? Your man's a farmer. And most likely he comes from a farmer family. Naturally they’re avid hunters because the two concepts travel in pairs like camouflage and fluorescent orange. Farmers have busy schedules in the spring and fall.

Translation: Compromise and patience, primarily from the farmer’s wife, are critical to a harmonious marriage. How do you feel about the blazing heat of August, or the frigid temps of December? You’ll adjust. If you want your husband to be in attendance, that is.

forage wagon
The backdrop for my springtime snowfall picture.

2. Farm equipment is part of your scenery.

Early last spring beautiful fluffy snowflakes started coming down. I went outside to take a photograph and used a forage wagon as my backdrop. Now I ask you: Doesn't everyone have a forage wagon parked in their yard? I'm aware the answer is no. And while we're discussing what is or is not considered actual "yard" in the country ...

3. Your "yard" changes from year-to-year.

When your house is placed on what was once farm ground, the amount of yard you have to mow can vary depending on what your farmer husband decides to spread manure on or plow up for some crop. And if you get lazy mowing the grass in the summer, no worry, your farmer sees it as more hay in the barn.

4. You get used to one-sided conversations.

A recent conversation between me and my farmer husband:

Me (the wife): What would you like for supper?

Farmer Husband: I have to go pick up the kids' fair pigs tonight.

Me (the wife): [blank stare]

Now to the average bystander this conversation makes absolutely no sense, but to a farmer’s wife it's perfectly clear: a man – especially a farmer – cannot be burdened with such trivial life inquires. Where are your priorities, woman? There are pigs to be picked up for Heaven's sake!

I believe what we have here is a breakdown in communications ...

Or we had pork for supper. (Reality: We had pizza that night.)

5. You know more about animals than you ever thought possible.

One day my farmer husband came home for lunch, walked into the kitchen, and announced, "I had a baby this morning."

I looked him up and down, merely for smarty pants effect, and replied, "Really?"

"Well, not me. Number 25."

We proceeded to discuss which cow No. 25 is and her personality change from this calf compared to her last.

I’m proud, and slightly shocked, to say I fully participated in and followed the conversation.

wedding day
Our wedding day, August 19, 2000.

I’ve been married to a farmer for almost 15 years. Of course this is only a small, meant to be humorous, list of signs you’re a farmer’s wife. I love my life (hard-working farmer husband included) for better or for worse. Luckily, our marriage has been far better than worse. All marriages must learn to not sweat the small stuff and to be grateful for life’s many blessings. And a sense of humor never hurts.

Thank you for reading!

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