In December, I was going to write about something that happened to us, but I was concerned that it might be in poor choice due to the circumstances. I feel liberated now to tell you the whole story, and ask that if you read this post, pass it on. People need to know what is happening to our independent farmers.

And above all else, the story I'm about to tell is not about us. Not at all. It's about a breach of people's personal freedoms.

About three years ago, June to be exact, Andy and I drove across the state of Wisconsin to support a farmer friend of ours. Truth be told, we didn't know him that well; had only met him once or twice since the inception of our own farm. However, we had a common bond with him: he sold farm fresh products directly to his farm members and so did we. So why, might you ask, did we take off a whole day of farm work to visit him?

We went because his farm had been raided the previous day by Department of Trade and Consumer Protection (DTCAP) officials and his farm store shut down. They claimed they were coming back the next day to confiscate all his food products, thousands of dollars worth of food, to dump them. All of this in the name of public safety and the fact that he had no applied for a few licenses from the state. Let me be clear: he was selling raw milk, but no one had been sick from his farm, ever.

In order to save his business and his farm, let alone his family of ten, this farmer did the only thing he felt right in his conscious to do: he called for support and opened the store up again the next day. In his mind, the consumers who depended on his whole, fresh food were more important than any licensing he might have to acquire. Besides that, because he was selling privately and not to the public...and did not have the licenses that most farmers have, he was not in the jurisdiction of the DTCAP to even come onto his property to shut him down.

We dropped our things, grabbed our [then] two children and drove. By the time we reached his farm and farm store, most of the initial supporters had left. But there were a few there left, to make sure any follow up by the DTCAP would be seen and recorded by the public.

They didn't come back...that day.

We spent the afternoon talking with our friend and enjoying watching our kids play with his. We left a few hours later wishing him well and promising to keep up to date with all that might play out. Then we drove home.

It turns out that a lot would happen between then and now. A lot.

We came home to a farm that wasn't really ours anymore. In a month, we made the connection with St. Brigid's Meadows and a short four weeks after that, left Foxwood Farm completely. We moved to La Crosse. In less than a year, we moved back to the Fox Valley, but lived in Winneconne. Just last March, we moved into Oshkosh to be closer to business with Gourmet Grassfed. In three years, we lived four places. I tell you this because last December, we were found.

We had been hearing about this impending trial for Vernon Hershberger, our friend whom we had supported that day. While we lost touch with him over the years, we stayed relatively abreast of his situation and his farm. Despite the fact he cut the yellow tape on his coolers and freezers, he remained in business for his large customer base. They are a very supportive group, demanding the right to purchase food directly from the farmer of their [well-researched] choice.

The trial had seen setbacks and postponements over the last couple years but a date seemed solid for Vernon: January 6th, 2013. About a month before, I was at my mother's house sewing diligently on a suede coat for Elly for Christmas. I got a call from Andy who was at home alone in the early afternoon. He said that two female field agents for the Wisconsin Department of Justice (DOJ) had visited looking for me. They were in town on other obligations and wanted to follow up with me on the day I had been at Vernon's farm with my kids. They wanted to know why I was there and what my relationship with Vernon was.

Andy told them to come back next week as I wouldn't be home until supper time. I couldn't imagine what they wanted or how I was involved. It would soon be revealed.

I came home that night and we talked some more about the odd incident and ate our meal. Shortly afterwards as we cleaned up from supper and the kids played, there came a knock on our front door. It was the two agents. They just happened to still be in town...a full six hours later. We knew this not to be simple coincidence. We had seen a police car parked in the next alley all day, something we had never seen before (or since). We ate with our window blinds up, so anyone from the street could see exactly when we sat down and when we finished our meal.

We got shivers as we realized our home had been under surveillance all day.

Thankfully we aren't the deceitful type. I came home just as Andy said I would. And they politely waited until we finished our meal to come in to question me.

A few weeks prior, a judge had ruled that lawyers seeking information could not subpoena reporters who might have knowledge about their interviewees. I don't really read a lot of extra news outside my interests, but this one caught my eye for some reason. The reason because glaringly clear that night. When the DOJ couldn't tap the reporter's resources for info about who was at Vernon's farm and when, they decided to go straight to the source.

Did I forget to mention that the day we traveled to Vernon's farm it was heavily covered by Madison papers and news crews? Maybe because I didn't think it was that big of a deal. As I said, he has support networks far and wide who are very passionate about food rights.

During our scant afternoon there, a man took a picture of my children and I walking down one of Vernon's grocery isles in the on-farm store. The journalist asked my permission and got our names. I never even knew the photo existed as I don't subscribe to any of the Madison papers. I never thought about it again.

But apparently the photo did run. And apparently I was one of three or four people the DOJ was trying to get to when they pressed the journalists present at the farm that day. They were the ones that went to the courts and found a ruling in their favor that they did not have to talk to the DOJ. And then the Department of Justice tracked us down, four houses and three years later.

We sat down, me nine months pregnant and Andy with his notepad. If they were taking notes, so you better believe was he! They questioned us for an hour, asking us all about that day, what we remembered and what our relationship was to Vernon. They asked us really subjective questions and pushed us to remember details about our farming that we didn't think were even relevant. You see, we had nothing to lose; yes, DOJ, we did sell raw milk. What does that matter in this case? It didn't, we were assured. Why then, we wondered, did they need to ask?

When they left, we talked to one of our lawyer friends who was intimate with the case being tried. She let us know that we were actually considered persons of great interest to the prosecution because we might aid in proving Vernon was selling food that day.

We didn't buy anything from him, though they asked us several different ways and repeatedly if we did, in any shape or form. We did not. Thank God.

A few weeks later, we got our subpoenas in the mail. We were going to trial. Thankfully for me (and Finn), the trial was postponed one more time to the end of May. I was concerned I would take the stand with a newborn or worse, in the midst of labor (I was due January 5th)!

So now it comes to it. We are scheduled to speak against one of our compatriots in the farming world because the state and even federal government are at odds with farmers who dare to make a living without them. If I sound jaded, it's because I am. I've seen a lot and experienced a lot to make this attitude a reality for me. However, I am hoping that a jury of right minded citizens, not politically minded officials, will see the folly in all of this.

If you are interested in learning more or even want to show support for Vernon and his family, this case will be a landmark case in the fight for food rights. Think you don't have to worry about it because you don't consume raw milk? Think again. They attempted to squelch all of his on-farm goods including grass-fed beef, pastured chicken and free-range eggs. And this is not an isolated case.

Follow the rabbit trail friends. Follow it and plead ignorance no longer. It's time to do something about the over-reach of our government and the quiet war they've waged against our rights and the rights of small farms.

Links to start the journey:

Farm Food Freedom Coalition: http://farmfoodfreedom.org/event/vernon-hershberger-trial 

Farmers on Trial: http://www.farmersontrial.com/why-should-i-care/ 

Farm to Consumer Legal Defense Fund: http://www.farmtoconsumer.org 

This link is the one that started it all. Please notice the photo on the left side. But most importantly, read the article: http://host.madison.com/ct/news/local/govt_and_politics/blog/capitol-report-deputies-inspectors-make-early-morning-visit-to-raw/article_4f5d084e-74ac-11df-9b16-001cc4c002e0.html 

As I said at the beginning, this post is not about Andy and I. It's a small facet of a large story that supersedes even Vernon's case. Use the links above as a launch pad. And take the blue pill.

To bring you up to speed a little:

When last we talked, I had learned of my second place status with Brownboots Interactive. Andy had interviewed with the Wisconsin Food Hub Co-op (WFHC) and we were waiting to hear if he landed the job.

As he expected, while he seriously impressed the board of directors, he was not asked to take the sales manager position. This was ok as ultimately, we want to see the Hub succeed. However, after he learned this, we were asked to present a proposal to take on the marketing and design aspect of the WFHC.

Let me explain. A month or so back, Andy had been at a trade show on behalf of the brand new WFHC. In order to make an impression on potential buyers and institutions, they needed some corporate ID and they needed it in about 36 hours.

Since the Wisconsin Farmer's Union is a large backer of the WFHC, and they knew of my graphic design experience, I was asked to come up with a logo, a flyer, a banner, a poster and a simple website for the Food Hub. We were able to deliver in time and the feed back on the logo, flyer, etc was really receptive at the restaurant trade show. Andy helped make a lot of connections with his ability to speak to people's needs and that is where he was first asked to apply for the sales position.

Ok, fast forward two weekends later: knowing how well we delivered a nearly complete corporate identity, the board asked us to answer their call for a bid to take on the Food Hub's marketing and design needs for the forseeable future. This would be answered by four other established marketing firms and while we don't have that sort of clout, Andy and I fully believe we are capable of selling regional food. It is after all, Andy's passion and I have been working with farming design for nearly six years.

We went south of Madison with a four page answer to their bid, within budget and with examples of our previous work. As well, we had Finn, who was a model baby during the whole interview! Has anyone out there taken a baby to an interview before? Probably not, but we were comfortable enough with our experience and knowledge to be totally real with these people. Ironically, all but one individual had been at Andy's sales interview just one week prior.

We did well. We did really well. Again, in the top two of the candidates they considered. Again, not the candidate they ultimately went with.

ONLY because they collectively decided they needed some strategic planning and another firm was able to help them with that. We agree that this is a good idea for everyone as no one wants a client who doesn't quite know what they need, nor a client want to waste money on ideas that aren't what they need.

So that was two weeks ago. Since then, there hasn't been much to talk about insofar as events around our house. We are still waiting to hear about our potential involvement with the Food Hub and the home buying is inching along with delays left and right. In the meantime, Andy has rekindled my interest in sewing.

Well, it's not like it actually left. My interest that is. It's just that a baby was born and heaven knows that come 7pm I am about creatively tapped. (hence the lack of writing here as well). However, we just moved Liam to his very own toddler bed and moved Fat Baby (Finn) to the crib. So far, it has served all four of our children very well! But as I was attempting to make up the bed for Liam, I realized that somewhere between Ethan and Liam, we lost our toddler bed sheets. I went online to look for prices and Andy said, "Why don't you just sew them yourself?"

"Right," I said. "Like when?"

"I'm just saying, if you wanted to sew them, you can. I'd support your efforts." 

After stewing to myself for awhile, I looked online for some free patterns from the myriad sewist bloggers out there and found a few that all said about the same thing. Simple to do, simple to buy for. Save about half the money. Ok. So I did it.

 

Two sewing sessions later, one of which I was fully accessible to all the kids (something I didn't think was possible with all the needles and scissors and such) and there was a nice flannel sheet for Liam to sleep on. Even matched his random pillow case we got from his cousin Maddie at Christmas!

  

Speaking of Christmas, I mentioned a jacket I sewed for Elly for Christmas. I finally took photos of the derned thing! This was about $40 in materials and roughly 24 hours of work. Really puts into perspective the amount of labor we get for virtually free when we buy clothes made in third world countries...

 

  

I couldn't have done it without my mom's guidance and a little tag team sewing here and there!

So now, I am back on the sewing train. Next project? A messenger bag for Andy to take with him on business meetings. We picked out the fabric and accessories this morning at the new JoAnn Fabrics here in Oshkosh. I might be doing that tonight if energy permits. Otherwise, there is the weekend! I found a great pattern here: OCD: Obsessive Crafting Disorder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, about the title of this post: last weekend Andy and I got a rare night out with NO kids (not even Fat Baby) thanks to my parents babysitting. It was supposed to be a short night out at Mahoney's in Oshkosh for a drink and a dessert to alleviate some tension between us that had been building up lately. What came of it was a great, though sober talk about where we are at in our relationship. In about two weeks we will be celebrating our seventh year married and January 2013 marked ten years since we began dating. It's a long time to be close to someone day in and day out, through thick and thin and kids and moving and jobs and losing jobs and losing loved ones and celebrating successes and becoming deeper human beings.

We are not the same two people that began dating over a table of sushi back in college.

Friday night we sat in silence for a long time. For me, I knew something was really weighing heavily on Andy. For Andy, he wasn't sure what it was but the uncomfortable presence was soon revealed.

For a long time, my unhappiness in my life has been growing. Very incrementally, but definitely growing. I get overwhelmed easily. I feel like I'm failing most days at this thing called motherhood, let alone wifeliness. I realize a lot of this has to do with poor quality sleep and a new baby taking center stage, but this is a problem I've had for some time. I can't really pinpoint when I first thought to myself that I was unhappy with my life, but I know it was over two years ago...all the way back to St. Brigid's Meadows era.

If it seems as though this might be a major thing to overlook in a blog about one's life, rest assured; I really didn't know it was overtaking my view on life until maybe the last six months or so. I never mentioned it to you because for a long time, I just thought that I hadn't found my niche and this was the root of my restlessness.

I knew from day to day that I was not being the mother I wanted to be. I snapped at the kids too much, my patience seemed to be waning and again, that feeling of being overwhelmed by [first world] problems. Additionally, Andy was feeling like he had to take more and more off my plate to make me happy. This is what I knew.

What I didn't know is that my attitude was totally dragging down the whole family. Andy suggested (nay, assigned to me) reading a book called "Happiness is a Serious Problem," by Dennis Prager. It's a book we've had for years and neither of us have read it. Being given an assignment by my husband is something I relish. I am goal oriented and this business of being down all the time had me exasperated. How do I solve it? I need steps, goals to reach towards and "just getting better" doesn't cut it for my personality. Finally, a first step. Reading this book.

Back at the restaurant, I made small talk but finally we began to zero in on the root of the problem. Andy was exhausted and becoming apathetic to a lot of things, but he confessed it was mostly to me and my feelings. As hard as it was to hear, I was hungry for the truth and welcomed his feedback. He discussed how he thinks about me and what I need 24 hours a day, and how nothing he does helps me feel better. After months of basically walking on egg shells so as not to tip my mood, he said he is just ready to give up. For my part it was the first time I was able to see outside my own sphere of pain and frustration to witness just how my attitude was hurting the people I loved. 

That fell harder than Andy saying he was tired of it all. I couldn't bear the fact that me being down in the dumps was making everyone else end up feeling...well...down in the dumps! 

Behind us in a nearby booth, a man and woman were out celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. We paused our conversation as the server congratulated them and the man stated that it hadn't been easy but each day was a blessing to be with his wife. Andy looked squarely at me and said, "Don't worry. That will be us someday. We'll get through this."

With that sort of reassurance and a new mission ahead of me, I left Mahoney's refreshed and ready to become the woman I was meant to be.

And since then, life has been so much more bearable and joyful. That book is amazing in pinpointing everything that Americans find to destroy happiness. I must recommend it to anyone. Everyone. It squarely placed the responsibility on me and for the first time in my life, I feel in control of the circumstances that normally cause me to get flustered and down. It's liberating! And I can only go up from here.

I can also say that Andy's overall demeanor has relaxed and become more fun-loving than he's been in ages. I asked him if it was because I was taking responsibility for my feelings and actions and he paused. Then he said that yes, he didn't even realize what a pressure was taken off his shoulders when I decided to adjust my attitude.

Now, I'm not saying I'm completely well. Take this blog for example; it's taken me three days of popping in and out just to complete it and that sort of thing drives me insane! Or today; Andy is busy preparing for a very important expo he is co-coordinating this weekend and I have a load of design things due this same week for Gourmet Grassfed. I had a few "not-my-best-moments" today already.

But overall, we're getting there. I have to run right now, but I'll post again soon. Lots going on here!

"Life begins at the intersection. What direction, what direction, what direction, now?" ~Switchfoot

Remember how I mentioned we had a lot going on behind the scenes? How I couldn't really talk about it right then because so much was yet to be understood?

 

I think I can finally talk about it.

On the day Finn was born, Andy had a wonderful conversation with a friend of ours who came to cuddle a new baby. As I watched him speak with her about some relationship issues she was having, it really dawned on me that his long time desire to study psychology was well founded. This guy can really read people and help them out! A few days later, I expressed my support of him returning to college to finish his bachelor's degree. Instead of English like he began back in 2000, he would finish with a degree in psychology. From there, he could open doors to a number of vocations and careers involved in helping people overcome their problems.

We contacted the local university we both had attended years back (and is now consequently a mile from our home) and got him enrolled in their non traditional student, "welcome back, we understand it was rough the first time around" amnesty program. He applied for financial aid and was all set with his student counselor to begin school again for Spring semester (beginning at the end of January).

But then, the VA office was hard to get hold of for his paperwork and we were super busy with baby and life happened. Details for me at this point are a bit hairy as I was sleep deprived, but we sort of let it go on purpose. Summer school, it seemed, would be more likely and then really dive in next Fall.

Around this time, my father casually mentioned that the house across the street from Foxwood Farm was going to be sold. When we lived at Foxwood, the home was (is) owned by an older fellow whom I grew up knowing as Mr. Carly. Mr. Carly lived with his parents in a house down the road a bit (like 100 yards) until both of them passed. Then when I was in middle or high school, he built his own home directly across the street from our farm. He sold off his folks' home and kept seven acres to himself. He planted flowering trees and bushes and had a sizable pond dug at the very back of his property. An avid birder, he also carved wood as a hobby and built an enormous three-bay garage in which he kept his woodshop. My father rented out most of the acreage for farming and this arrangement has been going on happily for years.

When we heard that Mr. Carly's house was about to be available, our hearts skipped a beat. We could no longer have Foxwood, but here was a chance to create a farmette of our own, right across the street from family. It seemed so timely. Just that week, Andy and I had seen Mr. Carly out and about in Oshkosh in his silver little hatchback and we talked about whether or not he would ever move away and if it would be possible to buy his house. We agreed then that he likely would never move as he is fiercely independent, despite his old age.

Hearing Dad's description of the house, it sounded just right. Dad thought it might be a great investment home for us to work on for five to ten years and then have the equity and savings to build up on the hill at The Other Farm. The more we talked it over with family (both my side and Andy's), the more it seemed like a good idea.

We visited Mr. Carly and toured the home. With all due respect to the man, he has been a bachelor his whole life and the home will need some serious TLC! :-) But we have plenty of sweat and very little cash. So this works out.

We talked to a couple lenders and are getting qualified for a mortgage. Meanwhile, we talked to our old neighbor Mr. Carly and he is agreeable to the price we offered him! So the home has not been listed and neither of us has realtors, yet we are virtually at an agreement to buy a home in the country!

As exciting as that is, the intersections in our lives just keep cresting on the horizon.

While Andy is interested in continuing his education (something he has gone back and forth on for years), he is also passionate about the local food scene. Outside of Gourmet Grassfed, he is inserting himself in various organizations in the Fox Valley and Wisconsin to become a sort of grassroots expert on food systems and scaling up to the regional level. The inherent problem with knowing your farmer is that a school district cannot rely on one farm for all their food needs. But a collaboration of growers as well as local transportation just might work to get nutrient dense fruits, veggies and meats into the hands of those who really need it. In his dealings, he's been asked to be a mentor, an advisor and has become a sounding board for several non-profit groups who are trying to get local food more accessible.

This sort of acknowledgement of his abilities and skills is new. For years Andy has been battling delegitimizing and belittling authority figures. People who didn't take him seriously or only knew him for certain aspects of his past.

Perhaps until now, he didn't really deserve it. Rest assured, the time he spent being humbled has only served to build within him a desire for servant leadership; to kneel down and wash the dirty feet instead of sitting in the throne. Having people outside of me and a select handful of close friends begin to rely on his hard won expertise is a very new experience for Andy. Within this came an opportunity to work on the ground level of a new food hub being developed and partially funded by the Wisconsin Farmer's Union. Called the Wisconsin Food Hub Cooperative, it is brand new and already hitting the ground running for 2013. They have growers contracted and need a full time manager and full time sales person.

After Andy's work with them, a few of the board members asked him to apply for the sales position. They interview all the candidates next week. The job can be worked from home, too.

He is going to apply.

Which brings back the question he's been struggling with: Do I go back to school for a degree in psychology in which I am totally passionate about, but cannot do with street cred? You can't do anything in counseling or psych without at least a bachelor's and for most things you need a masters or more.

Or do I follow my food passion and continue to build up my street credit with hard won experience and learning? So far being in the trenches, degree-less and instinct-full, has gotten Andy some serious double-takes by people with influence. If he is not offered the sales position, he plans to continue to be a part of this local food movement both on the county and state level.

Then, to add another point to the intersection in our life, I just had an interview for a graphic design position in Fond Du Lac (20 mins south of Oshkosh). It would be full time and this is not temporary.

If hired, I would be a full time working woman again. Andy wouldn't be homeschooling, so Ethan and Elly would be enrolled in public school next Fall. If Andy gets hired, the younger two would be watched by someone else while Andy works from home.

Suddenly the intersection starts looking more like this:

  

"The future is a question mark/ of kerosene and 'lectric sparks." ~Switchfoot

In a few weeks, we'll know if any of this comes to pass. And then so will you. Exciting and strange times, right?

Dearest Grit Friends,

I feel as though I am writing to a loved one from whom I have been absent from for many months. I have much to tell you about! I have been keeping up with things relatively well on my personal blog but have seriously neglected you. Therefore, I will give you a run down of our last few months here in Oshkosh, pulling excerpts where I think we need them. I’m sorry for the delay; once again, life happened and it seems that winter is full of fun even without an active garden!

In mid-November, we traveled to Minneapolis for a Farmer’s Union weekend and I wrote about it here:

I find myself at an ergonomically pleasing hotel room desk, sipping sub-par complimentary coffee and listening to a Japanese radio station via iTunes. In the background, Andy is finishing his shower and the window to my left show the city skyline, still dark but busy with cars zipping by.

I have a moment of serene peace before we head out for today's activities and I am trying to soak it all in. Our children are safe with our dear friends in Omro and should probably be awake and begging for oatmeal about now.

We arrived in the Twin Cities yesterday afternoon in a nice rental car and full of good conversation. Our purpose in being five hours from home is a leadership training event put on by Farmer's Union Enterprises (FUE). An offshoot of National Farmer's Union, FUE is the brainchild of Farmer's Union Industries, a for-profit investment arm of the non-profit National Farmer's Union. Farmer's Union Industries helps fund numerous outreach events and workshops to enable rural communities and farms to work together to build up resources and rely on one another to sustain and survive. One of the problems they faced several years ago was how to motivate young farmers and rural couples to become leaders in their communities and become involved in making a difference for all parties.

With the help of a strategic planning company whose founder was also a member of the Farmer's Union, they came up with FUE. The premise is simple: One couple from the five leading Farmer's Union states would be trained for a year at various gatherings and events throughout the nation and then asked to take up the mantel on their own and use that knowledge to make a difference on the local level. This is the sixth year of the leadership training and Andy and I are the sixth Wisconsin couple to take the reins in learning about ourselves, our family, community, and country. One of the first Wisconsin couples to go through training became the president of the Wisconsin Farmer's Union in his first year following his time with FUE. This is not usual but shows the sort of people that are attracted to this venture. The Farmer's Union Industries spends a substantial amount of money on each couple each year. Andy and I are here completely free of charge. We are completely thankful for the generosity of the organizations behind our retreat here and don't take the time lightly.

Last summer I mentioned this organization, as it was the reason we drove to North and South Dakota. This weekend is the second installment of training. It purposely coincides with the Minnesota Farmer's Union Annual Conference, held in this same Ramada Hotel. Today, we will have a day-long meeting with just the other four couples and a keynote speaker, along with our guide, Mr. Danielson, who has been leading the FUE couples since the inception (and which he helped envision via his company).

Andy has finished grooming and looks very handsome for our group breakfast. The skyline is a faded salmon-grey and I-94 is steadily picking up. Andy and I are excited for the day ahead in which we'll examine a personality profile we filled out online last week. It will help us understand others' personalities and the best way to approach them in conversation and as leaders.

We thank our friends the Gerhkings who lovingly took our three littles ones into their fold for two days. Tonight, Elly, Ethan and Liam will move "homes" to Grandma Judy's and Grandpa Dave's house to stay until we come for them Sunday afternoon. We are very blessed to have the sort of family support network that enables us to leave for this many days completely free of worry for our precious babes.

Friday was a good long day of learning about each other's personality styles through a questionnaire we all filled out called DiSC. You may be familiar with the program. You basically answer a bunch of questions about how you'd react in various situations at home and at work and then they are compared against the general population to see what sort of personality you lean towards.

Andy is quite familiar with this sort of personality profile as he has been on a years-long search to discover how he "ticks" and how to go about daily life with that knowledge.

Each letter stands for a personality type.

D = Dominant (Direct, results oriented, Firm, strong-willed, Forceful)

i = Influence (Outgoing, enthusiastic, optimistic, high spirited, lively)

S = Steadiness (Even-tempered, accommodating, patient, humble, tactful)

C = Conscientious (analytical, reserved, precise, private, systematic)

Nearly all the time, people test with two of the traits being part of their personality. For example, Andy tested as an iD. He was marked by Influence and Dominant characteristics. I was categorized as a CS, which is a person who craves routine, reliability and security. Learning these things about ourselves wasn't necessarily a surprise, but learning how to relate to each other was an answer to a specific prayer I had not one week ago. I want to support Andy more in his decisions and ideas, but given my personality, changes are scary and stressful. So I was able to learn how to relate to him on a level he understands and in turn, he became more sensitive to my needs as both a woman and a person who needs to feel safe.

We spent the whole day as a group talking about the different styles and how they generally relate to one another; how they view different personality types and how to mitigate conflicts by just stepping into each other's mindsets. I was able to pin point a couple of my immediate family members right away and began thinking of ways in which I can increase effective communication with them. After we exhausted our brains on acronyms and tendencies, we had a short break and then we gathered as a group to go out for the night. On deck? Dinner theatre!

I have never been to a dinner theatre, so as the 15 passenger van hauled us west of the Cities to Chanhassen, I just watched the sun set and listened to the small talk going on amongst the couples.

We arrived after dark to an unassuming building amongst strip malls and stores. We exited the van and entered a whole different era. The building was decked in dark wood and fireplaces and large stone walls. There were Christmas trees fully decorated and boughs of evergreens adorning every doorway and tree-trunk post. It was warm, magical and totally inviting. 
Andy and I were immediately impressed. We headed to the lounge to wait for our turn to go to the theatre. Low ceilings, leather chairs on casters and intimate conversations gave the impression of an exclusive supper club. Soon we were asked to get in line for our dinner seats. As we handed the tickets to the hostess, we were escorted to the center of the great room and just took in all the wonder.

Before us were tables and chairs able to seat as many as 600, tucked in here and there and covering at least four different levels. To our left was a large stage, protruding into the audience with a great sweeping curve. We settled in with two other couples and waited for our meal, still taking in the atmosphere. After we ordered and got our food, the bustle of the waitstaff and hustle of the multitude of people around us gave plenty of visual stimulation while we digested. Soon, the lights dimmed and the the MC announced our show for the night (which we already knew): "Bye Bye Birdie."

We settled in for a fantastic show of dancing, singing and orchestral performance right before our eyes. It was just amazing. I've been to plays before, but everything about this was just special. We were so grateful for the experience and acknowledged that it was something we could rarely have afforded in our own lives. What a special night out!

The musical ended about 10:30pm and we hopped in our van to ride back home, about 40 minutes. I was asleep on Andy long before that.

Saturday morning we began the Minnesota Farmer's Union Annual Convention. We spent the day in and out of policy sessions and listening to annual reports from various leaders and guest speakers. It was very informative and I could see how the stuff would be even more important when/if we attend our own Wisconsin State Convention in January. It largely depends on the goodwill of our babysitters and the temperament of our new baby!

That evening, there was a fundraising dinner, which seem to be attended by just about every farmer there! The entire convention hall was filled and they had to open another room to fit the last 40 people in! The food was all locally produced and very tasty. The speaker was Minnesota State Senator Al Franken and he gave a nice speech about the farmer's he'd met in the last year and what farming means in Washington.

   

Next morning, we got up about 7am and rushed down to breakfast thinking that we were missing something. Turns out, we were well ahead of everyone else in our group and got to have a leisurely 1.5 hour breakfast while we waited for the conference to begin again. Andy and I were able to talk with Harley and his wife more about life goals and direction and it was incredibly encouraging for Andy to figure out a direction for our family and him. (me too!).

We listened to a few more updates in the conference and then decided to pack up about 9:30am. We had babies to see and a mother with a birthday, so we were excused a few hours early for the drive home. Before 2:30pm, we were in Omro and reunited with the little ones. It was nice to spend the day at my parents' house before finally ending the trip at home, later that night. Everyone was well and only a few items were missing from the kids' clothing bags. All in all, a good trip!

 

In mid-December, I gave an update on the comings and goings surrounding the holidays:

I am grounded today by my pregnant body and decided to put in something educational for the kids on TV and kick my feet up and write. It's been a long time since I wrote because we once again rearranged our schedule to allow Andy more time to work during the day. In return, I spend more time with the kids exclusively and running errands or visiting friends with kids. As well, I have been working several hours at my mother's house sewing a winter peacoat for Elly for Christmas. The task is beyond my limited sewing skills and uses faux sherpa material which has been more difficult to cut and sew than normal cotton fabrics. However, with my mom's guidance here and there and a bit of reading and re-reading the directions, we are making progress. In the end, it will definitely look homemade, but it will be a wonderful expression of love every time Elly wears the jacket some place special. [it actually turned out beautiful!]

My downtime today is due to being in the final month of pregnancy and the general aches and pains that go with a larger than life body at the end of its stretchiness. However, today I have some unusual stabbing pains in my lower pelvic region that I don't recall experiencing before. Thankfully, I have a prenatal appointment this very afternoon, which will allow me to ask the midwife if she knows what's happening.

Our Thanksgiving this year was highly unusual. We planned to meet up with my parents and brother's family in Omro, but the morning of the big day, we got a call that my Dad was really sick with a cold and that the celebration was to be moved to the family farm (where my brother lives). However, they weren't feeling the best either and no one was sure the day should even happen. Given that each of the three families were to make part of the total feast, we postponed our Thanksgiving until Friday.

On Friday morning, no one was better. In fact, they were worse. So we decided to meet briefly at my parents to exchange the food we had all made so that each family could have an individual Thanksgiving at home. We divided up all the dishes into thirds and went our separate ways. Andy's family had also been unavailable with Maddie receiving more cancer treatment in the hospital and the grandparents working all weekend.

We never did have a big family gathering. My father was diagnosed with bronchitis and just this week has been able to get out and about and start catching up with chores and such! We have been relatively healthy and thankful for it! Thanksgiving weekend we decorated the house for Christmas and it was quite fun. As in years past, we let the kids decorate it with minimal interventions from the parents. This was Liam's first year decorating as last Christmas we did not have a tree (living in a friend's house). Before I even had the chance to show him what to do, he had hung no less than three ornaments all by himself! I guess watching Elly and Ethan, or just intuition led him to do it on his own.

    

In early December,  we went to the annual Experimental Aircraft Association’s Christmas in the Air event, which was a lot of fun for our family, for free! I wrote a bit about it here:

Last evening we were grabbed the kids and headed over to the EAA Airventure Museum here in Oshkosh. They were entertaining their annual Christmas in the Air event, which happens to be free for the community. Christmas lights and trees, cookies, beverages and a myriad of performances happening all over the huge complex were the main draw for folks. We went last year and saw all the sights and watched the performances and then waited in line to meet Santa who'd flew in on a helicopter. This year we saw him land just outside the main building to a large crowd, dancers and music. But by the time he entered the building, our boys had worn out their sugar cookies and napless afternoon and were downright belligerent. There would be no Santa lap this year. Even though the night ended on a rather rough note, we did have a good time and hope to bring them back soon when there are no crowds and we can really see the museum for what it's worth. Ethan so loves airplanes and after last night, it appears Liam might as well.

As we draw upon the final two weeks before the Day of Christmas, our days will be filled with schooling, baking, creating, wrapping, visiting, hosting, and sewing (the last one me, not so much anyone else). Then we (ideally) have two weeks before Baby arrives. No name yet. No worries. It will come when it's right. For now, the little guy keeps me on my toes already! Or, in the case of today, on my rear.

   

At the end of December, I gave my annual year end wrap up:

I suppose I better get this blog in while the gettin' is good! As I write this a mere two days before the turn of 2013, I am in the early stages of labor with our fourth baby.

Over the last two days, several definite "baby coming" signs have been showing themselves and while my official due date is the 5th of January, we all know that babies come when they are good and ready. Liam was eleven days early and Ethan was five days "late." Only Elly came exactly on the day they said she would which, if you know Elly at all, makes perfect sense!

Early this morning I was awakened by heavier than normal Braxton Hicks every half hour or so. Because they were waking me up, I knew them to be more like early labor. Throughout the course of the day the contractions chilled out but never completely went away. As this evening begins, I anticipate the contractions to ramp up again through the night. We have childcare lined up with my mom (who spent the afternoon with us in hopes of baby, but went home just before supper), and our friend Malissa lined up to accompany us in the delivery room as a support to Andy and myself.

My bags are packed, the car seat is resurrected from the basement and the bassinet is all set up. For Christmas, Andy's mother Julia made baby a quilt, which will travel with us to the hospital. My mom bought us a new outfit, which will be his going home clothes. We are pretty much set. Just waiting for the child to make his appearance.

We are still undecided on a name. Andy is very fond of one iteration that I just can't seem to get behind. While I am not sure what is holding me from giving the green light, part of me just wants to be decided and go with it. And then there's always the possibility that the ultrasound was wrong and we've got a little girl about to make her debut! :-)

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This year we had a lot of changes. The last two years I've been amazed at how much we've gone through and this year was a little milder but no less eventful. At the start of 2012, we were living in a friend of a friend's house in the basement, with most of our belongings waiting patiently for us in a storage unit across town. Liam was about to turn one and Ethan about to be three. I revisited an interest in writing and sewing and began to get restless for a place of our own. Still employed by Gourmet Grassfed, Andy and the family enjoyed many days as a family unit working from home. As Spring began to trickle in, we finalized a search for a house to rent in Omro or Oshkosh. By the end of March, we had found a place with character and a large yard. We moved in in early April and relished a place of our own, even if it wasn't a country estate with land for chickens and cows.

We settled in and Andy tried several iterations of working from home before I took a job with Oshkosh Corporation as a temp employee in May. For about six weeks, he played SAHD while I worked long hours typesetting. I thoroughly enjoyed my time back in the workplace and the only thing holding me back was the morning sickness I began feeling about two weeks into the job. Yes, we were pregnant again and while it was not planned or even hoped for, we quickly accepted the new being inside me and prepared ourselves mentally for the major change in the coming winter.

After that job ended in late June, we got to go on a trip to the wild west of the Dakotas and take the kids on a good ol' fashioned family vacation. Upon returning home, we settled into life with a city garden and a super hot dry summer. There were farmer's markets to be at and playdates to be had. We explored our new town on bike and on foot and stroller and even stopped to eat ice cream while the cars went by once in a while. Summer seemed to fly by into Autumn which quickly revealed itself to be one big canning festival. We reorganized Gourmet Grassfed and placed all sales and marketing into Andy's hands while Ben took on all other responsibilities. New flavors were developed and labels needed to be designed, along with a website overhaul that is much anticipated to break in the coming month. I started Elly on her kindergarten year of homeschooling with some work in numbers, writing, reading and any sort of nature interest that caught her attention. The boys were just along for the ride and have been picking up all sorts of stuff because of it. In September I got to go to Pennsylvania for free to the Mother Earth News Fair. Because of the people I was riding with, had the incredible privilege to eat across the table from Joel Salatin of Polyface Farm. He shared an intimate story from his childhood with the group of about 20 that touched everyone deeply. It was so neat to listen to a person so well known and remember that he’s just human, too.

Late fall gave us respite and a low key Thanksgiving, building into the Christmas season. Now we are into early winter and we definitely had a white Christmas this year. Just yesterday it must have snowed another 10" on top of the pre-Christmas snowfall of a foot or more! If this is any indication of the winter we'll have, I'm really sorta thankful we don't have animals to care for this winter. Digging out a public sidewalk and your driveway is nothing compared to deep snow and animals to feed. Waterers to unfreeze. Feed to uncover and replenish. Bedding to change out daily. (do me a favor and thank your closest farmer today!)

And so with the close of the 2012 year, we look forward to what 2013 has to offer. A family of six, living in interim in the city, praying and hoping for a place in the country, doing their best to pay off their debts so that they may begin building their future once and for all.

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As I close, I know the next time I write will be to share the story of Baby's entrance into this world and there will be photos of him to share with you all. As it is right now, I bid you farewell 2012. You haven't been too shabby to the Sells and for that we are grateful. A little less tumult in our lives is always appreciated (at least by me, a personality who craves stability and order!).

   

The next morning, our baby boy made his entrance into the world and kept me from writing for about a month. I recapped his birth and the rest of January here:

Finlay Dael Sell was born on December 31st, 2012 weighing in at 8lbs 1oz and 20" long. We were all surprised at his weight, given that no one thought I was even close to being due from my belly size. We were not surprised at his gender this time, quite unlike our boy Liam from two years ago. :-)

   

Andy and I headed to the hospital (no home birth this time; financially unviable) at around 2:30am on that Monday and our friend Malissa met us there to be a support to both Andy and I. After the initial round of heartbeat monitoring and questionnaires, I was able to labor in peace. We dimmed the lights and added music from the Prayer Room in Kansas City and Andy had brought candles to add softness to the room. Around 4am, I was in hard labor and asked to have a bath drawn. I have never labored in the luxury of the hottubs most delivery wards offer these days as I have back labor and that keeps me moving almost to the end. This time, though, we decided to try it, even though I was convinced I would have to hop out as soon as I was in.

Well, I was so very wrong...and so very thankful of that! As soon as my first foot hit that hot water, I was instantly relaxed and soothed into a meditative state of labor in which even the most strenuous of transition contractions left me with just a few moans of pain. Man, I wish I would have given this a try with the other labors! It wasn't long before I knew without being checked that I had to push. Since the hospital we were at does not allow water births, I knew I had to exit the water even though all I wanted to do was float blissfully into motherhood. Malissa and Andy helped me out and I headed to the bed. The room flooded with nurses, equipment and the midwife. I knew I had to push, but since I had not been checked to see if I was indeed fully dilated, I pushed only hesitantly at first. When the midwife was ready and waiting, I really began pushing and only then did my water break. Within 15 minutes, little Finlay made his debut and I had him cuddled in my arms, so tiny and warm and beautiful. It was 5am. Malissa left about a half hour later to go to work. She pulled an all nighter like us and didn't even bat an eye. We were so thankful to have her there as moral support and even some comic relief for Andy during the long parts of my labor.

   

Family and friends came to visit us that day and as the rest of the world rang in 2013, we cuddled down in a hospital room with a brand new human in our charge. Welcome to the planet, Finn!

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The month of January has passed quickly only because I am usually not sure what day I'm actually in. On the 11th, our quirky personality Liam turned two years old. We held a party for him on the 12th with family and friends. He very adorably accepted his gifts and cake amidst the bustle of the get together. Liam is talking now and "sharp as a tack" according to his Grandpa Steve. He continually makes us laugh with his expressive face and ability to repeat phrases at just the right moment. He is amazingly compassionate for a two year old boy and seeks to make things right when he's been naughty. Often, a frustrated outburst that resulted in him hitting or biting will cause him to immediately recant with a diminutive hug and kiss. He melts anger in us in a way that the others never could. We began potty training him last week, but for some reason he has refused to accept it. We'll wait another month and try again. He definitely gets what's going on, but fails to see the independence in it.

   

Eleven days later, we celebrated my 32nd birthday, on the 22nd. I was blessed with several nice gifts from my family and a small get together with my in-laws at the end of the week. My mom even handmade me a table runner and some cloth napkins with some fabric that I had found at a rummage sale. It's funny because she totally stole it from me one time in late fall and I looked for it several times during the Christmas season because I had an idea that I wanted to sew a gift for someone with that fabric. As I apparently had "lost" it, I gave up on the gift idea. Turns out I never had time to sew it anyway so when Mom presented my birthday gift, I laughed out loud. It all worked out for the best!

  

Just after that, Andy and I spent the weekend in Eau Claire attending the Wisconsin Farmer's Union annual conference. I was asked to take photos in exchange for our admission fees, which helped us afford to be there at all. We took young Finn and had the kids stay with family for two days. It was a long Saturday in which I had a bit of a fever and my camera battery nearly died, but Andy got to attend most of the sessions and take part in the important policy discussion.

   

I got a few neat shots of the day and the break out sessions throughout the hotel. The evening dinner had a local author as keynote speaker and several awards were handed out to the farmer's union youth (they put a lot of effort into young people education). The keynote was Michael Perry, author of Coop and Truck: A Love Story, amongst others. He is a great humorist and I was already a fan of his writing. I brought my copy of Coop for him to sign, but it didn't work out. Mr. Perry did however admire Finlay when Andy had him out in the hallway just before he and his band played for the late night crowd.

   

Everything was to pick up again on Sunday, but due to an impending ice storm, the convention was wrapped up by mid morning and Andy and I headed back to his folks' house several hours early. Our boys had been with the Sells and we would pick them up there. Elly stayed with both her cousins in Omro and my parents for the weekend, so that no one family would be too overwhelmed by kiddoes.

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As we entered February, there were a few things that I wanted to talk about but had to wait until things got fleshed out a little more. Jonathan Foreman, lead writer and singer for the band Switchfoot has a line in one of his songs that rings with me this past month: "Life begins at the intersections." We have many choices ahead of us as a family.

2013, unlike 2012, is already shaping up to be a season of opportunity and fruition. Whereas Andy and I have been in a period of waiting, learning and proving ourselves for a couple of long years, now it seems that we may have come through that time and are seeing doors open. Doors that once were closed and doors that were only just recently unattainable. I know that's a lot of vague jargon to many of you, but I feel compelled to keep it that way until we know more. In the meantime, we huddle down in this cold Wisconsin winter, sip our hot coffee and pray for God's continued guidance in our lives.

  

Since I wrote that last post, our very own Ethan turned 4 years old in the middle of February. How could it be that when we started blogging for Grit, I was just barely pregnant with this little being and now he is nearing school age? We love the little scamp as he daily brings us the most challenges and laughs of our four children. Finlay remains to be seen, of course! 

  

And so, now that you are caught up on our lives thus far, I will be able to tell you about those “intersections” in a following blog. However, Andy and I leave again on another FUE adventure in just a day: We are flying with Finn to Massachusetts for the National Farmers Union Convention to be held in Springfield. We spend four days away from our other babies who will be in the loving homes of two different friends of ours. It will be interesting to see how they fare without us but I think they’ll be ok as long as they are together. Meanwhile, Andy, Finn and I will take in the continued learning that awaits us in MA. Hopefully I’ll be able to write about that experience as it happens, but no promises! Take care and I’ll chat at ya soon.

   

Flavoring. Nothing conjures up more fear for me as a parent than this word. The FDA says "Natural Flavoring" is the "essential oil, oleoresin, essence or extractive, protein hydrolysate, distillate, or any product of roasting, heating or enzymolysis, which contains the flavoring constituents derived from a spice, fruit or fruit juice, vegetable or vegetable juice, edible yeast, herb, bark, bud, root, leaf or similar plant mate-" blahdy blah blah blah. Just more technical jargin for crap they allow that will kill you.

No thanks. Reading a friend's Facebook status she said, "The essence of fall; watching my kids play in leaves, grey dreary days and pumpkin everything!" I couldn't agree more. So how does one infuse this ubiquitous flavor without using some sort of enxymolysis of edible yeast? I decided to put on my thinking cap.

  

Pumpkin pie, the comfort food of autumn: roasty, nutty, spicy, caramelly, make your knees knock together and faint when you smell it-y. So, lame admission, I didn't have any pie pumpkins or squash on hand so I had to use canned for this. I will detail both ways (as the former is by far superior).

As I dropped the pale orange blob into a mixing bowl it became quickly apparent that this is NOT was I was looking for. Raw pumpkin is tart and not incredibly palatable. It is in the roasting that draws out it's home-in-every-bite flavor. I turned on a pan and added the spices and such. Once it had all incorporated I added the pumpkin and stirred it until bubbling. Soon the color began to darken and that classic aroma began to fill our kitchen. Bingo. Just out of curiosity I passed it through a couple of strainers to make sure it was fine enough. I wanted something that would add an intense flavor to drinks or stews without the stringy texture that some pumpkins and squash have. Upon cooling it was ready to use for a number of dishes.

We'll start with the master recipes:

Natural Pumpkin Flavoring** 

1 can pumpkin

1/2 cup packed brown sugar* (light or dark, honestly who really cares?)

2 cinnamon sticks

1 whole vanilla bean (slit) or 1 tsp vanilla extract

3 whole cloves

1 cup water

1/2 tsp nutmeg (optional) this will give the final product a more Christmassy feel (just no Christmas music till after Thanksgiving!) 

*If using for primarily savory dishes, reduce the sugar by half 

**If you want a more roasted flavor, add the pumpkin to the spice mixture and transfer to oven safe pan. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes or until a slightly golden crust appears. Remove the crust before using.

Add water, sugar and spices (add vanilla bean if using, omit extract if not). Bring to a boil and reduce heat to simmer. Simmer until all of the sugar is dissolved and mixture is reduced to half and quite dark.

   

Add the pumpkin (and extract if using) and bring back to a boil (do not allow to burn on bottom or sides). Mixture will begin to darken.

   

Continue to stir until mixture is quite thick.

   

Take off heat and strain to remove the steeped spices. Allow to cool and use.

  

Granny's Homemade Pumpkin Flavoring Variation 

1 pie pumpkin or non-spaghetti type squash (Mother Hubbard squash is a family fave but they are large and will require more butter and salt, or just halve the squash quantity) 

2 tbsp butter

1 tsp salt 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Halve pumpkin or squash and remove seeds. Drop in 1 tbsp butter and 1/2 tsp salt into each half. [Salt draws out moisture and the butter will help caramelize the liquid which will impart a much deeper flavor]. Roast on a pan for about an hour. Remove and using a fork, gently slide it into the flesh. A properly cooked pumpkin will be smooth and soft. Pumpkins and squash vary greatly so you may need to put it back in for up to a half hour longer.

Once soft, remove from oven and let cool. Pull off any dark or crusty parts and remove the soft flesh with an ice cream scoop. Process in a food processor until smooth. Pass through a fine strainer to ensure a creamy consistency.

Follow Natural Pumpkin Flavoring recipe above using about 2 cups of puree.

 

Now that you have the master recipe, you can add it to a number of different dishes!

Pumpkin-Spiced Coffee 

Our favorite recipe was also the reason I tried this at home. We were tired of the overly syrupy Starbucks pumpkin lattes of the season. Here you get a nice hint of pumpkin with all the homemade goodness.

Add 1 tsp Pumpkin Flavoring to each cup of coffee. Serve with cream and sugar to ensure no bitterness from the pumpkin. 

Pumpkin-Spiced Whipped Cream 

Whip 1 cup of cream until stiff peaks form. Briefly whip in 1 tbsp sugar. Fold in 1/4 cup Pumpkin Flavoring (make sure it's cold).

Place large dollop of Pumpkin-Spiced Whipped Cream at the bottom of a clear glass and top with hot coffee.

   

   

Sprinkle with light dusting of cinnamon sugar (find a cozy place to read and listen to the rain). 

Spiced Pumpkin Butter 

Allow 1 stick of butter to come to room temp and whip until light and airy. Whip in 2 tbsp packed brown sugar. Whip in 1/4 cup Natural Pumpkin Flavoring. Chill and serve on English muffins, pancakes or scones.

Autumn Oats 

Add 1/2 cup to every 4 servings of oatmeal (at the end of cooking). Top with Spiced-Whip Cream or Cinnamon Sugar.

Pumpkin Egg Nog 

Add 1/2 cup Natural Pumpkin Flavoring to 1/2 gallon of (preferable home made) egg nog.

Pumpkin-Apple Bisque 

Add 2 cups apple juice to puree and bring to a boil. Add 1/4 heavy cream and 1 tsp salt. Bring back up to boil and allow to thicken slightly. Dust with cinnamon and serve with hot buttered bread and something salty (like some home made sausages on the side). 

Pumpkin Stew 

Add 1 cup puree to broth or braising liquid just before serving.

There you go! Pumpkin Everything!

On Sunday, Andy was able to realize a goal of his for the last decade; roast a whole animal in a pit in the ground. Ever since I met him in college, he has wanted to do a pig in the ground, wrapped in leaves, Hawaiian style. However, the very act is incredibly intimidating. It's not like people do this every day and you can flip to page 53 in your Betty Crocker cookbook. Also daunting is if the process goes wrong in any number of ways, you've potentially ruined an entire animal, not just a single cut of meat.

When the weather threatened to freeze off our tomato plants last Saturday night, we took advantage of a slow day at home and went to the back yard around noon to grab the last of the red 'maters from the garden. Unlike the previous sweat-filled harvesting sessions, we were bundled up in warm jackets and hats at first before the sun broke and the heat of our efforts caused us to shed a layer.

Andy came out and helped, too, as my ability to bend and pick has greatly diminished as the months wear on. Ethan again showed laser beam dedication to the cause, easily picking his own weight in tomatoes before asking to go ride bike. Elly was a bit harder to keep focused and I finally had to give her a tangible goal of filling two grocery bags before she was excused to hop on her two-wheeler.

   

Before we were even half way through the rows (if you can even figure out where the rows are in the photo above), two neighborhood boys came zipping through the alley on their Razr scooters. I'd seen them before. In fact, a few weeks ago, I'd been out weeding while our kids played and they came by, asking if I had any jobs for them to do. I was amused as I had heard about this; people paying local kids to rake the leaves or mow the lawn for them. While our lawn really needed it, we didn't have petty cash budgeted for jobs we could do ourselves. I weighed the value of the work they could do verses our saving money, and in the end I was just too far outside my comfort zone to give them anything to do. As it was, they were happy to play with our kids in the yard while I worked, which benefited all. I have seen them around here and there since that day and each time the boys were very friendly and waved hello or asked what we were up to.

There are a lot of kids around our neighborhood, ranging in age from baby to teenagers. Most of them are pretty indifferent to our family and won't even acknowledge when our overly outgoing kids yell "Hello!" to them. There's a pack of them that hang out at the end of the alley on school nights, all sitting on bikes and chatting idly as the evening creeps in. We call them the Biker Gang and deem them about as harmless as the Apple Dumpling Gang. I'm not sure if these two boys are a part of that group, but of all the kids we've seen zoom past our backyard this summer, they have been the most polite.

I was pondering all of this when the boys stopped on the road and asked what we were up to. Smiling, I said, "What does it look like we're doing?"

"Harvesting tomatoes," said the brown haired boy.

"That's right!" said I.

"Can we help you!?" he asked with such fervor that I wasn't sure what to make of it.

I hesitated. "Well, we don't really have any money to pay you for your time–"

Brown Haired Boy responded before the words were out of my mouth. "That's ok! Just give us a bag and we'll help 'til you're done!"

"Wow, ok! And if your families like tomatoes, you can pick some to take home."

Brown Haired Boy dropped his scooter on the grass and his friend, Blonde Haired Boy did the same. Andy handed them some bags and they began grabbing beautiful ripe tomatoes and filling each respective bag until they had quite the haul. We asked them where they lived. Blonde Haired Boy lives on the very end of the alley, in the house closest to where Biker Gang congregates. Turns out, it's his family that has a small bike repair business in their garage and every time we walk past, someone is working on a bicycle with countless pieces of two-wheelers scattered about the garage floor. (that might explain Biker Gang a bit). Brown Haired Boy lives on the next parallel street to ours and is best friends with Blonde Haired Boy.

Finally I asked them their names. Brown Haired Boy turned out to be Austin. Blonde Haired Boy goes by Carter. Austin and Carter took their cache of tomatoes to Austin's house (down the block) to give to his mother. Andy and I kept picking, thinking that was the end of it.

We were very wrong, in a very blessed sort of way. Within minutes, we saw the boys walking back to our yard with a couple plastic bags bulging with produce. Behind them a woman just a bit older than us came with another bag. It was Carter's mother.

I was closest to the road as they approached and paused my picking to acknowledge her. She asked, "Do you like cabbage and carrots? We just harvested these from our garden and thought you might be able to use them, seeing as the boys told me you only grew tomatoes this year."

"A veggie exchange! How wonderful!" I exclaimed.

In fact, the bags were filled with squash, onions, beets, carrots and cabbage. What an incredible trade! They must have brought over three times as much as we gave them. Andy and I thanked her profusely while Austin and Carter began harvesting again. It was the first time we had met her and she and I talked about the gardening year and Carter's friendship with Austin. Soon she headed back home and the six of us continued to work in the garden.

Sooner than I thought, we had found every last ripe tomato. Because of the frost coming, we also picked any tomato that showed the least bit of ripening, including some that were by all accounts green, but yet had a shade of pink or orange on one side.

"Well, guys, I think we're done for today," Andy announced as we hauled our bags to the back of the house.

"Oh, do you have anything else we could do?" asked Austin. He is the more outgoing of the two.

"Actually, if you don't mind, it would help a lot if the tomatoes were sorted by ripeness, so we can process them before some go bad," I stated.

"OH YES! Please let us help sort the tomatoes!" both boys exclaimed. How could we resist that? Andy and the boys put all the harvest in one area of the lawn and began sorting by green, sort of ripe and super ripe. Below, you can see the group sorting together.

   

When the task was finished, they happily helped us haul the boxes and bags of produce up the stairs into our newly cleaned out back pantry. We're not really sure what the room is supposed to be. It shoots off our kitchen with a single door and is about four feet deep by fourteen feet long. There is a makeshift door to the backyard without a handle on the outside. The whole thing looks like someone put an afterthought into it and just tacked it to the back of the house. It looks a lot like an enclosed porch with very few windows. A few weeks ago, Andy cleaned it out from top to bottom and made it into a very useful storage space for our food, cleaning supplies and other odds and ends. This is where we'll be cold storing a lot of our winter produce as it keeps a solid temp of 40˚– 50˚. Below, just some of the produce Carter's family shared with us, neatly stored in existing boxes and containers left here by our landlord.

   

When the harvest was in, I asked everyone if they'd like to be in a photo for a blog I was sure to post. :) Of course the kids were super excited, so here are our harvesters from left to right: Carter, Austin, Andy, Elly, Ethan. Not pictured, me. Liam had been napping the whole time. Behind is the alleyway we speak of so often.

   

As Andy and I prepared a hasty lunch of three left-over soups, we invited the boys to stay and eat. While we worked in the kitchen, they played with our little ones. When it was time to eat, they helped set the table and politely tried each soup, even though they had never heard of two of the three we were serving.

During the meal we were able to get to know Carter and Austin a little better. They are both ten and go to school together at the elementary school just a few block from our homes. When they saw Andy spicing up his soup with some chipotle powder in his soup, they wanted to try it as well. Soon this escalated into a no-holds-barred heat-tolerance-man-show in which each young man at the table tried to up the ante with more and more hot sauces from our fridge. By the end, Austin was pretty red and sweaty, but Carter held his own, going spice for spice with Andy and keeping his cool (we even broke out Might Mustard and had them try it straight up)!

When lunch was over, they helped clean up the table and then offered to clean up all the toys they'd used when playing with our kids. Before I knew it, they had the broom out and my washcloth and were urging me not to leave the kitchen until they were ready for me to see their work. "Almost there! Don't look yet!" I kept hearing from the other rooms.

It really warmed my heart. And the whole experience from harvest to meal time with these two ten year olds got me thinking about the children in our cities. As I washed the dishes and listened to the hustle in the living room, I wondered how many of our children are craving the sort of attention these boys were. They were literally begging to be put to work by us and when they finished one job, they happily moved on to the next. I bet they would have cleaned our bathroom had we asked.

When I was growing up in the country, I had designated chores from early on. Pretty much as soon as I could wield a broom and feed calves, I was officially employed by my parents. I began getting a weekly allowance of a few dollars per week and I was able to save up for toys or art supplies that I really wanted. It gave me a sense of value as well as responsibility in my own home. I went to a country grade school in which most of my friends had farms of their own and had the same home life as I did. It wasn't until middle school when they blended the city kids with the country kids in one big city school (big for a small town I guess) that I began to see how the "other half" lived outside of the classroom. Many walked home, dumped their backpacks in their rooms and ran off to someone else's house to play video games or play basketball or just loiter in the streets in groups until the dinner bells rang. These kids had nothing to do!

As middle school gave way to high school, the separation between country kids and city kids was far less apparent as many of us got involved in after school sports and spent more time at the school going to games and participating in clubs. As I reflect, however, those of us with chores waiting for us at home were far less likely to be the ones getting in trouble. It wasn't a generality, of course, because those farm kids are very ingenious with the way they spent their midnight hours on a weekend. It wouldn't be a small town without someone having been toilet papered over the weekend and a party in the woods being busted. Still, the sense of purpose and a general ability to face down temptation was higher in those of us with something real to do after school.

As more and more Americans have moved away from the farm or countryside and grow up in pretty little suburbs with everything at their fingers, there is a sense of un-direction in the youth. We've seen it with the Biker Gang down the street. This mindset of "I've got four hours to kill between the last bell ringing and dinner. What do you want to do today?" is perplexing those kids. They WANT something to do. They crave responsibility. How many college students can't handle the freedom when Mom and Dad are no longer there to come home to? How many thirty year olds are back living in their parents' home?

I grabbed a soup pot and began scrubbing as the clamor in the other rooms continued.

An overall sense of un-direction. What a disappointing and depressing way to feel. Austin and Carter, at age ten, showed the initiative and drive that I'm sure most of those kids have to begin with. Humans are designed to feel needed and useful, especially the children. I think it's only from years of being trained otherwise that folks grow into the cog role that most adults fulfill. Work for the weekend and indulge in as much pleasure as possible between 5pm Friday and 8am Monday. 

It seemed to me that part of the reason Carter and Austin were the only polite kids on the block and so willing to help is a combination of desire to be needed and responsibility at home. I don't see them very much on the weekdays like I see most the other kids. I see them out and about on Saturdays, presumably their day off. The fact that they wanted to help us, then hang out with us, then eat with us and clean belied their own unique sense of family.

We seemed right to them. We felt safe. A garden was a familiar start for them to step into our world. We felt just as drawn to them, as if we could offer something for these boys that they might be missing.

"Ok, you can come look!" Austin yelped from the dining room. I was torn from my thoughts and the soup pot in my hands. I grabbed the kitchen towel and crossed the kitchen to the dining room door. "Wow!" I exclaimed, not even a bit exaggerating. They had washed the table, picked up the toys, swept the floor, put all the shoes in order, tidied up the end tables and folded the blankets in the living room. The place looked amazing and I'm not sure I could have done it better myself. Andy gave out boisterous high fives and I offered Mom-hugs to each child.

We sent them off with a bag of home-canned tomato products for their mothers and a handful of chocolate chips for themselves, and the promise that they were welcome to stop by anytime.

I really hope they take us up on that offer because it is genuine. Both of the boys were especially interested in what Andy had to say and followed his every move, whether he noticed or not. I felt very deeply that they needed us in some tangible way and who were we to brush that aside? I wish I had gotten their phone numbers so that I might call them over this week as we process tomatoes and make sausage. I know they would jump at the chance to learn a skill, to be useful. And their enthusiasm would be a wonderful influence on our small ones who are just learning the trades of self-sufficiency at home.

Yes, I'll be looking for those boys next Saturday, zipping by on their Razr scooters. We have so much we can share with them and I'm not really talking about the food.

This is how community starts in your own backyard garden.

PS: The freeze we were expecting never came. There will be another harvest before the week is out!