Winter is usually one of my favorite seasons, but not this year. Perhaps it is because my bones are growing older or perhaps it was because this was a particularly intense winter. Day after day of snowy sub-zero weather combined with an absence of sunshine took a toll on me, and I found myself sinking into depression. And as it was for me so it was for my animals. Horses and donkeys huddled around eating piles of hay. Poultry refused to leave their coop for days on end. We were in survival mode for this winter that would never end.
With each day, I found myself questioning why I do the things I do, and one of the things I questioned was why I blog for GRIT, a magazine I respect and have read for many years. I have nothing to teach you. I can't tell you the best way to do anything for I am still a novice myself. Feeling I had nothing to offer you, I stopped sending in blog posts and virtually stopped writing.
When I walk through darkness, I always turn to my faith, to the Bible, to help me find answers I so desperately need. I read and studied and prayed and waited patiently for the answer I needed, and it came as I knew it would.
It wasn't until the second week in April the snow started to melt and we were able to get out in the pasture once again. As I watched Flower roll, I allowed myself to be filled with the joy of the earth emerging from its rest.
For the first time in oh, so long, we were able to run, to stretch our legs, to feel our bodies in motion.
Back in the barn, I discovered one of my turkey hens had chosen a spot in my hay bales to lay her eggs. I raised my hens from tiny poults and to see them laying eggs now was incredible. Such a feeling of awe. I'll never become jaded to the miracle of new life.
Perhaps it is a simple life living in the country, surrounded by animals and the incredible Mountain Man. Mucking stalls, digging in the dirt and caring for our farm might not be everyone's idea of an exciting life but I know it's mine, and I am truly blessed.
I found the answer to my question that day in the pasture watching nature renew itself once again. I do have something to share with you. Each of us has personal struggles, personal triumphs and times of questioning. If I can make one person smile, to feel not so alone as they go through depression, if I can touch you with my writing it is enough.
"To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under Heaven."
Mountain Man and Mountain Woman can also be found at http://redpinemountain.com