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The Diva’s Red Velvet Kiss

The MWM (Man with Muscles) thought it might be a good idea to get me a puppy. You know – something warm and cuddly to keep me busy and to offer some unconditional love when needed. I agreed, IF (Note: A very big IF) everyone else was keen on helping out.

So, we checked out a few breeds and decided on the Great Pyrenees as we wanted to have that breed on the farm anyway when we eventually started raising sheep.

Great PyreneesThe MWM said he read that a Great Pyrenees dog “is a capable and imposing guardian, devoted to its family, and somewhat wary of strangers - human or canine. They are often used to guard livestock. When not provoked, it is calm, well- mannered, and somewhat serious. Courageous, very loyal and obedient. Gentle and affectionate with those he loves. Devoted to family even if self-sacrifice is required.”   

That’s all well and good, but the Diva heard they slobber and drool – plus there will be a need for lint rolls – many, many lint rolls.  White hair on a black wardrobe?  I must say I was a bit cagey of the whole thing.   

Chienne (dog in French – some people prefer the “B” word) was ready to pick up right before Christmas. I do not understand why breeders love to use the “B” word. I think mine used it twenty times in reference to Chienne during the twenty minutes we were there to pick her up.

Chienne is an endearing pup; very energetic, smart and trainable, didn’t bark, and wanted to be with her new owners. Certainly not traits indicative of the “B” word. Did I mention she is cute? That has saved her from a heap of trouble during the last several months.

Our new puppy, Chienne. 

The first interesting thing about Chienne is that she loathes not loves her cage. It was about the only thing that has enraged her thus far. We kept one in the truck so she could come safely with us to the farm. She used it for paw painting experiments. I will leave it to your imaginations what she used for the paw paint. I considered using the “B” word the first time I had to clean up her first paw painting masterpiece.

After a while, I became sick of dog baths and cleaning up every time we went to the farm, so she got her own way and now rides in the back seat with my son Jack.

One day I purchased a red velvet cake roll for the guys to indulge upon. Before I went to bed the cake was safely tucked away from the paws of our huge puppy that could easily reach the kitchen counters (where she was sequestered during the evening hours). Apparently, the cake was “calling” to one of the men in the house. They didn’t put it back where it belonged.

I woke up at 4:30 am, before work, to let my charming “little” furry pal out on her lead – and what did I find? Red Velvet Cake paw-prints with hardened icing covering the ENTIRE kitchen floor, and an empty tray plagued with teeth marks. Hoping my eyes were playing tricks on me I shut them, and slowly lifted the right eye lid. How could a small cake roll cover an entire kitchen floor? It is truly one of the great mysteries in life…

Chienne was crossing her legs at that point and I let her out – reminding myself the whole time that she was not the “B” word and only a puppy — and that one of the men would pay for this. I had to scrub the entire floor, and smelled like Pine-Sol for the rest of the day. There was white fur all over my black pants.  The lint roll was missing.  The Diva was NOT happy.

The fur ball just sat there and looked at me through the sliding glass door – with red dye blotches on her white fur. With those big sad puppy dog eyes — you all know what I’m talking about. Needless to say, she earned her own “stage name” that morning for her official papers: Nautica’s Red Velvet Kiss.

Did I mention that she is cute yet???

More news next time, until then —

Splashingly yours,

Muck Boot Diva