Grit Blogs > My Bad Sheep

Beasts That Go 'Bump' In the Night

A photo of DianeThere’s a reason why I wear earplugs to bed in a rural environment (my house sits smack in the middle of 2.5 acres): and that’s the array of nocturnal buddies who all want to ‘friend me’, vocally, at midnight.

Last night The Peanut Gallery (hubby Bill) gave me a series of increasingly urgent pokes ‘till I awake from REM sleep.

“Are you awake??” he hissed.

Yeah, NOW I am…but I had to pull das earplugs out to complete the transition from REM to MAD.

“Listen to THAT!” he continued. Silence lengthened like the bad mood I was suddenly cultivating.

“It was HUGE. It was right outside our window. It started with a low bark, was silent for a few minutes, then repeated its call in a falsetto whistle.”

It’s challenging to mentally assess ALL the possibilities of the local animal kingdom’s nocturnal calls at 1AM – but an initial mental review pretty well eliminated the usual list of suspects: i.e. puma, bobcat, dying wabbit, or possum.

“What should we DO?” hissed TPG. It was then, now fully awake, that I realized the sordid truth.

TPG was wide awake in a manly fit of “defend my territory against invaders.”

Only there was NO CLUE as to this intruder’s identity – and thus, no possibility of making a proper plan for parameter defense.

There was only one thing I COULD do.

I handed him the box of earplugs and kindly advised him to ‘stuff it’ and ‘go to sleep.’

Silence descended (both inside and outside) – but I’m sure I heard The Final Word from TPG before sleep descended upon all:

“That’s right – close your ears to danger. You will be the first eaten.”

I snickered all the way into Slumberland, confident that Harry the Heron or possibly Rocky Raccoon – obviously more concerned about mating than omnivorous midnight cravings – wouldn’t be the cause of my demise that night.

Yeah, go ahead and ‘friend’ me….

Only NOT at midnight. I wear earplugs, and I can’t hear you.

nebraska dave
7/12/2012 2:29:08 PM

Diane, night sounds in the country can be disconcerting. I kind enjoy the night sounds when I can hear them. I started life in the country so it's not a threat to hear the nocturnal sounds of the night shade kingdom for me. Us guys do have the protector gene instilled in us at birth. When it rises up we just can't help but try to protect those we love. He's just doing what comes naturally. Have a great country night slumber.